To live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

Guess who was having a bad day after the last couple of weeks being all happay happay and joyous? So as I sat and watched the match alone last afternoon sorrow my old friend came visiting me again and all the good work of the last couple of weeks seemed to have been washed off. All my promises to keep myself happy each day, working towards that dream and living in the moment vanished and all that was left were these stupid silly tears and I didn't even know what exactly was bothering me or maybe I did. Nothing made me happy. Not even India beating Pakistan by 29 runs in a not so spectacular fashion when on ordinary day I would have been elated and brimming with joy.

I woke up despondent too though I confess I tricked myself into thinking all was good. I come to office and open my inbox only to receive a nasty e-mail from a senior from the head office whom I had been dealing with for a legal notice and I had been so understanding and cordial and how does he repay me? Well he turns around and puts the entire blame on my shoulders. I was taken aback more than anything. People trying to put each other down doesn't even appall me anymore. It is understandable. I am not even being pessimistic about this. Sometimes this is just the way it is. We live in a dog eats dog world I thought and went about my work with a mission.

Rav and I went for coffee and I was trying to act all is fine until he broached yesterday's topic and I erupted. I knew all along what was bothering me. I just needed someone to acknowledge it. When I see someone who is some 4 years younger to me at work hear me out so patiently when we ain't even good old friends from college but known each other for half a year maybe or not even that, I realise all is not always wrong with the world. Even on bad days someone does come around and make you smile or surprise you with their enthusiasm to get your work done like another colleague who got the information I needed in a couple of hours and left me dumbfounded. I was getting myself ready to hound him for the next couple of days and getting the info or our Counsel whose neck I have been breathing down turns around and sends me a message to "Relax and I'll take care of it." I know that all is not always fine with the world but I also know all isn't always bad with this world.

I sent a text to Rav saying "Thankuuu for listening to my gibberish. Someday when we are in different and happier places you and I are gonna be laughing at all this silliness." He says "So true. :-)"

So here goes this Howard Zinn quote I stole from Fino's blog which left me with a "things will fall into place" feeling even on a bad bad day.

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places--and there are so many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."
--Howard Zinn

What a marvellous reason to be able to get off from work early!

Its D day today and all of us are looking at heading out of office to watch the mother of all matches with our buddies or within the comfortable confines of our homes. Honestly I can't wait to get out of office. What a marvellous reason to be able to get off work early! I don't even think any of us are taking any permission. It is just presumed that we definitely do not want to be watching this grand spectacle in this clinical white and grey environment. To think Mohali is almost as the crow flies. Sigh!

I finally got permission to activate my BB services on my new phone. I was actually asked to get permission from the Project Director. I was astonished like WTF! I am fickin' gonna be paying for it anyways and all this officialism for something as measly as BB services.

Abhi's boyfriend who is a die hard cricket buff shall be on the train throughout the entire period of the match just so that he can meet her tomorrow cos it happens to be some anniversary of their's. Wow I wouldn't have done that for any of the supposed ex loves of my life. Like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYY am I gonna be sitting in some rickety train while the match of a lifetime is taking place.

Okie my thinking is too clouded today with anything except the match. Abhi, J, Rav and I are gonna be taking a lift from this fool who has been making goopy eyes at me as long as I can remember. So this morning at the cafeteria over coffee I was thinking out aloud saying "How do we go home?" and cheeky J with that smirk on his face says "Why with Mr. Goopy Eyes? He offered all of us a lift last morning itself." and for once I agreed cos we really don't have an option the other being taking a metro which is super duper fast and fancy( The airport line) but today I don't wanna make even that much of an effort.

So here's to the Indian team. May you play splendid cricket and give the men in green a run for their money literally and figuratively. ;-)

“Winning isn't everything...it's the only thing.”

Vincent Van Gogh 

What a random post!

Its Monday morning and to think I drank 10 glasses of wine last night. Well no that is an exaggerated figure and  I drank 8 glasses I am guessing.  Sigh! Smarty pants that I am I woke up early in the morning with the beginnings of what would have been a horrific headachy hangover. So guess what I did? I exercised it all away. Hahah! I jogged for 30 odd minutes and woahhhh my headache vanished. Well almost and I am in a state wherein I am capable of completing all my pending work. I am sooooooo thankful or else one entire day gone waste nursing a hangover and making faces trying to look busy in office. Though I had perfected the art of doing so last year sometime.  How I hate being unproductive!

So last evening we had a merry time at DGC drinking lots of white wine and the party moved to Capri Italy in Defence Colony where we had more white wine and lots of Siciliana pizza and spinach and mushroom cannelloni.  It was M, a friend of hers and I and what a merry time we had. I am surprised how we form these preconceived notions about people and how they break that first impression which most of us try to hold on to until proven wrong. This friend let us call him N made M and I laugh till our sides split and we had so many similar stories to swap that at one point M was like no Pri it’s my turn now to relate my account of those sheer torturous meetings with all these wedding portal men.  I think I can write an entire post on all our cumulative experiences meeting these shaadi.com men as M and I call them. Hahaha! 

And damn it what is with these drunk dials? But to my defense I am much much better off than before. I remember the scolding Rad had given me in Pune saying”What is with these drunk dials Pri? That is sooooooo Cosmooo(as in Cosmopolitan the magazine. Rad feels I have been reading too much of those hence the usage of acronyms like LBD for Little Black Dress which Finooo and she kept tripping on.) and completely ridiculous.” So I am a good girl now and I only make drunk dials to my best frand Batty or J. Batty drunken texts me too at 4 in the morning from some Channel V party she will be at and when I get cute yet strange texts like “Drunk. Drunk. Drunk.” I laughed out aloud when I read it later.  Batty said “please it is better than texting you know who”. I nodded in agreement.

With J I give myself just that much liberty that I can call him only when inebriated.  :-)  I feel I have the right to. He knows  that these are the liberties I take with only him now. I know he won’t hold it against me or keep it in his mind and over analyse it and think there is more to it. There is nothing more to it.  Oh and Batty and I got BlackBerrys and I know we are probably the last people in the world who got them but so much excitement I say. Heheh! We can’t stop discussing the features and exchanging notes trying to figure it out. :-) Here is to a happayyyy week ahead.  On second thoughts what a random post. :-)

A fabulous piece of news, Calcutta Chronicles and an alarming fight... Heheh!

Hullo I do have stories to tell. Lots and lots.  I have had a great day beginning with a piece of fabulous news from Finooo who got through Harvard for her PhD and all of us cannot stop stomping our feet out of happiness along with her. Heheh! I have my shopping chronicles to write about and oh what an eventful afternoon it has been with my Mum and Nutty. I think they can be the most amazing people to shop with and the most nightmarish simultaneously. How can I ever put down on paper the horrific fight those two had over a pair of shoes?

Yes that measly pair of shoes was what they fought over and all because Mum thought Nutty bought one for the price of two while I bought two pairs for a lesser amount. There were fireworks in New Market as Nutty walked away with a huff and a puff in one direction and Mum walked off in another and I did not know whom to run after and whom to console or whom to side up with and finally ended up scolding both of them for creating such a scene.

All our fights were forgotten once we entered Chamba Lamba as I bought a pair of delicate silver anklets for myself and ear rings for Mum and a nose stud for Nutty. Now anyone who grew up in Calcutta in the 90s will know the Tibetean Curio shop called Chamba Lamba where we spent many an afternoon during school days buying numerous beautiful things all silver and the oohhs and aahhhs as they took out their gorgeus trinkets for us school girls to drool over. Strangely Chamba Lamba still has that effect on me and I am transferred back into that veritable fairy land everytime I visit it.

We hopped over from Chamba Lamba to Nahoum's and feasted on Brownies and their divine chicken patties. As a rule the health conscious me avoids such oily and sinful treats but today was an exception since coming home has become such a rare occasion albeit a joyous one each time. :-) After that the three of us headed to the stinkiest and oldest part of New Market cos Ma wanted to pick up chicken for her biriyani and we stood around making faces as the shop owner went about beheading the poor chicken with such clinical precision. Came back home all tired and happy with  my goodies.I can't wait to wear my chappals, and kurtas and my trinkets.

Last evening Nutty and I met up with Tinni at the Bridge in Park and these two could not stop chattering and gossiping. My God they have some capacity and yes so do I. Hehehe! My Great Aunt whisked up the most delectable prawn curry for Sunday lunch and its called Chingri Machher Malai Curry in Bengali and I wish I could have done justice to it. Why, oh why do I have to be genetically predisposed towards putting on weight? ;-) I even went for the longest run and felt happy and healthy.

On days like these I feel yes Baba is looking over us. :-)

I need a new recipe for chicken curry.... :-)

I cannot seem to stop laughing today like laugh laugh till my sides hurt laugh or laugh till I have to crouch and sit down on the cafeteria floor laugh. Laughing on such absurd things like the atrocious language used in a poorly drafted letter or some silly little incident that happened eeons ago but we are reminiscing the same and the laughter just came gushing out of me sputtering out refusing to stop.

I am going home this weekend after a long long time after having waged a battle with my Mum the past weekend for wanting to go on a mini holiday at this prized destination that I have been dying to visit as long as I can remember. Mum with her iron will did not budge an inch so that holiday was bid adieu to. Hmmmmphhhhhh! I am holding it against her so to make up she is indulging me and buying me a new LCD television set. Yeayyyyyy! Though that still doesn’t compensate for exotic holiday that I missed.

Have called the mad Abhi home for dinner and I have promised myself that she shall be fed 700 gms of chicken while I make do with the remaining 300 gms. Though I wanna try some new recipe this time. My Cook Sister did not answer her phone to give me fresh ideas on how to spice up the chicken. So I am thinking. Still thinking. :-)

When I get a chance to sit it out silently or talk, I talk. :D

The Kings's Speech brought tears to my eyes. Each of us have our own battles to fight and sometimes the battle might be with yourself while giving a televised speech in front of the nation that is looking at you to be a symbol of hope and courage as a war is declared or it might be something as minute as taking part in a college debate wherein all you wanna do is to run away because you are terrified of facing the audience consisting of your contemporaries in law college. I have had a stutter as long as I can remember and it was Fino's idea that I take part in this debate to get rid of my trauma of public speaking and encouraged me all the way and did so without fail every year making sure I mooted when I wanted to do anything and everything but face my worst fears. I don't remember much of that day and I don't even remember what I was debating on but I do remember that the only face I looked at in the audience was Finoooo's and I do remember that all too familiar and dreaded feeling of breathlessness overpowering me as I started reading that speech out aloud.  I didn't do magnificently at all in that debate  but I  learnt one lesson  that day which has stayed with me and always shall and and that is when I do get a chance to sit it out silently or talk, I talk. Yup I talk.

P.S : A lot of people now don't recognise this speech impediment of mine and are surprised if I tell them that I am afflicted with the same. I say I have perfected the art of disguising it. Hahahah! Though yes it someways it still is a battle with myself.
 

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

 

Shel Silverstein

A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God

And then there are days when I am Super Duper ("Wo")Man doing a million things at the same time. Hahah!

I cook, I clean, I work out, I do the dishes, I socialise with two different sets of people, I tidy up the house and even find time for my beauty treatments that includes a pedicure and a home made face pack and lots of castor oil on that head of mine.

I made chicken in white sauce with mushrooms last evening and it was my first time and yes it is a very very easy to make dish and it turned out surprisingly well. :-) Sister could not stop oohiing and aahhing over it saying it runs in our genes and we are all born fabulous cooks. :D

So since I am a very quote person and it is International Woman's Day tomorrow here comes my contribution to the occasion albeit a very saucy one. ;-)

“There's a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God.”

Sarah Miles

You have suffered enough and warred with yourself it's time that you won...

I realised today:-

1. I love being in charge especially at work. Damn it I have actually evolved into such a Leo.  Its such a far cry from the days when I would slip into the shadows far far away from the limelight. The stars are definitely way stronger than I thought they were.

2. Its great fun meeting fellow bloggers. I met up with A and I really didn't feel like we had met up for the first time as we chatted and exchanged stories over brownies and Chocolate Fantasies. Of course it does help if one has been reading her blog for almost 4 years now and that we seem to be going through a similar crisis in life. ;-) The pitfalls of being 27 going on 28 I tell you.

3. I am so happay for this friend of mine. Sigh! Maybe, just maybe we were right all those years back in believing what we had believed so staunchly.

4.  I miss "Mr.You Got Me At Hullo". If you read this ever will you know that this is "you" I am talking about?

Can you imagine the feeling of liberation?

I tried very hard not to blog first thing in the morning but I failed. Here I am blogging at 10: 20 on a Thursday morning after having resisted doing so for an hour and a half. I have managed to reply to my high priority e-mails so the feeling of guilt isn’t wrecking me as of now. Heheh! I haven’t been having a very exciting life off late. Sigh! Not that my life is like a movie or anything close to it but my personal life does seem to be right out of some chick lit novel every once in a while in fact in recent times it just seemed to be uncannily similar to some melodramatic and over the top chick lit paperback until I was made to sit down and understand that this isn’t anybody’s idea of normal. So here I am having gotten all free, some part of it is voluntary and some part by default and yeah strangely it is such a relief in some ways.

For instance in a very long time I don’t keep checking my phone every 30 seconds and don’t get excited every time it rings hoping to see some name flashing or a text from the same name saying hullo in the morning or good night at night. I don’t wait with bated breath as my inbox opens each morning hoping to see a Facebook message from someone or an intimation on how so and so likes some five year old picture of mine. And I haven’t even deactivated my Facebook account like I did each time with a failed (“love”) affair looming in the background or unfriended the same people associated with the failed affairs like I have made a habit off. Hahahah! Can you imagine the feeling of liberation? I think initially it was just this big big void but I have started to fill it up with small things, little things that shall hopefully manifest into meaningful things someday in the near future and even if they don’t I am alright with it.

On the other hand I have these three huge pimples on my face and I am trying so desperately hard with every homemade remedy possible. Last week I actually made some orange peel pack at home, as in I beat fresh orange peels into a pulp and applied to my face. All this at 10 at night mind you but alas the face became even paler making the three pimples look even more prominent. I bought three different face washes and two scrubs from Khan Market hoping they shall have some effect but to no avail. Every time I look into the mirror all I see is these three mountains staring at me. Hmmmmphhhhh!

Oh and I became a fan of Masterchef US though everyone says its cos I never caught an episode of Masterchef Australia . I am guessing they are correct but then I couldn’t stop myself from cheering Whitney Miller the 22 year old from down south Mississippi as she churned out dish after dish some great and some not so great and not to forget her signature desserts that definitely played such a big role getting her so far and beating a hundred other amateur cooks , winning 250,000 dollars and a cook book contract. :-)

I gotta head back. Work beckons. Sigh! :-)

“It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

Dale Carnegie