Apr 11, 2014

Random thoughts

I wish I had just one day when my mind did not think so much but for the tasks I am supposed to complete. So many thoughts running wild in my head, all the what nots, the whys, the hows? I am tired of over thinking. I am not even that worried. But I think being blank is so peaceful sometimes. I want that blankness of mind, like a blackboard wiped clean.

I don't wanna crave and pine for romantic love. Its so tiresome to bother about it. Not a single leaf moves if it is not supposed to and same goes with romantic love. I don't know how people so smugly advice you not to focus on finding someone and concentrating on loving yourself first and it'll come when you least expect it. Hahaha! Seriously that is a joke. Some of us don't like to focus on finding someone but are constantly reminded of it. 

And if anyone tells me about self love and loving myself first, well I think the last couple of years especially the two years, I have done a good job of loving myself and my life and following my dreams and I aspire to be able to continue to do so. But seriously I can only love myself so much. I do not wanna be obsessed about finding myself and get lost in self love. I already found myself, a tad bit late but I did. I still have stars in my eyes though. 

I gotta head back to work. Sigh! 

Apr 2, 2014

I am tired and drained out with research. ASEAN's policies have sucked the life out of me. As usual I have failed to adhere to the word limit of a research paper.

This morning I got up and I realised any more reading on ASEAN and I'll explode. Besides the amount of time I spend on Facebook is preposterous. Last night I  deactivated my account only to activate it again.

Today it is Freedom of Speech that shall do the honours.

 I keep reading this fabulous articles, written by brilliant people and I also read some not so great articles by not so brilliant people and then I write a pile of rubbish and sometimes maybe I write something that actually makes sense and the one thing that keeps running in my mind while I am buried knee deep in books, getting all these concepts clear in my head, stuff I never thought would come to me easily and it still doesn't but I love it, and the truth is that one does not feel like going back to highways, underground railways and bridges. Airports I can tolerate. But loving something and tolerating something is soooooo different.

Silly woman. Should have taken the corporate and financial services modules and never gotten a taste of this. The doctrine of 'grapes are sour' shall never apply here. Now to live with this. 

Mar 31, 2014

A little mellow. What with my farewell dinner and heading back home in a month I am guessing it is justified.

Mar 22, 2014

You can have the two quays.

Cause I can't have you.

Feb 14, 2014

I liked this today. :) Inspired me. I am hardly rising though. Just moving along with the waves. Not descending definitely.

Jan 27, 2014

It is second semester, my last semester here. 3 months and I am done with exams. 29th April, 2014 is my last exam. I have little idea what is in store for me. I began classes two weeks back and I am soooo in love with the subjects. They are vague, random, arbitrary but hell I love them.

 It actually takes time to like a new city, it takes time to find your own space, your niche and to surround yourself with your kind of people. I had a presentation today, was up all night reading up and when I walked through Botanic Gardens this morning it didn't feel alien at all. Even the nervousness and jitteriness before presentations has significantly reduced. It just feels soooooooo different.

The weekend passed away in a blur of parties, dinners, conversations, dancing, birthdays and pictures. I'll miss all of this.

I could do with a bit of luck though for the future. Even if I am lost, hope it is in the right direction. It sure feels like that. 

Dec 1, 2013

Really nowww!!!!!


And exactly 4 months from the day I landed in Singapore which was 29th July, 4:30 in the evening on 29th November my first semester exams got done. It was Aviation Law & Policy and I could scarcely believe that its over. We kept looking at each other in disbelieve. I was sitting sandwiched between Shawn and Ty for the exam and the last 15 minutes kept muttering the language from the case laws under my breath making Ty laugh uncontrollably. The IP exam was in the same room and I could see my afro-austrian hottie from the corner of my eye. Bliss it was once I had finished writing and could check him out guilt free. Hahah! Nadine and I hi fived saying "we made it". Just before the exam began outside the lecture hall we were the only two people sitting aimlessly on the floor minus any books or notes. I had honestly had enough. I had spent the last half an hour listening to this piece of music from Amelie and I was somewhere far away in my head.

We have come such a long way from that first class from Prof had shown us this video on the twenty four hour air traffic and I had wondered okay what have I landed myself in. This is fascinating but seems more on the lines of inexplicable in some ways. I grew to love the classes and made some really good friends there. Nadine and I had been meaning to go for a drink the entire semester and we finally landed up at Wine Company right after the exam finishing of a bottle of wine by 6 in the evening.

Had dinner later with the girls at Holland Village and Ty and I couldn't stop discussing aviation until Anh who is the youngest but acts like quite the mother hen had to put a stop to it saying "I am feeling out of place." We landed up at Wina's with cookies and wine as an antidote for her migraine and laughed away the rest of the evening, discussing Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Murakami, the chinese girls of our batch, John Mayer and how we shall diligently study from the first day the next semester so as to enable us to survive this ordeal better. I came home so happy and carefree. I kept looking back at the last 4 months and wondering what had changed, something changed. Where was the complaining, grumpy me?

Last morning I had a mini-crisis in Little India but I managed to override it and the cab to the bus stop also almost never came but T thankfully got a cab at the nick of time. I was petrified I'd miss my bus to KL. The journey to KL was 5 and a half hours of non-stop music on my player. I could hardly wait to get off the bus after the first 4 hours. Here I am in KL, chilling with my friend and it feels surreal. I have sooooo much time. Reallyyy now!!!!!