Oct 24, 2006

like a dream no end and no beginning.........

i've been havin this wierd feeling that one part of my life is over.i know it is.its like leavin so many things behind and i don't even know what i have to look forward to.jus that i am so used to livin a particular way and all that is changing now.but i keep tellin myself that this isn't gonna be forever and there shall be things to look forward to.life has its own twists and turns but we jus learn how to move on.how many times do we move on?i have moved on so many times ,times when ppl thought i cudn't but i did.now its this empty void feeling inside me.

i've tried too hard in da past.i am not gonna make da same mistakes again.besides what has to be will be and when u least expect it we are taken by surprise like i was and have been in da past.its like u get a glimpse of what could have been or can be but it just ends with that day, one glimpse and i am left wondering.no i never ever planned to be taken unawares but i was and its been sometime now.seems unreal now ,this dream like quality. a fragment of a day,just one evening,a miniscule moment in my life.thats all it was and thats all it'll ever be.no beginning and no end............

Oct 22, 2006

don't know where i am goin but i guess i am on my way

spoke to this one friend today and surprisingly she also has a blog which no one knows about.she said i needn't tell her my address cos maybe this was my own private space.she is so true in someways cos this blog gives me anonymity which i so love.i love the fact that i can pen my thoughts down in public and still remain incognito.for me thats the charm of blogging.i know ppl who are like knwon thru their blogs and the world reads them.i'd hate that cos then its as if my life is an open book.i don't want my life to be that.there has to be some mystery about me heheh!!!!!!!maybe cos in real life i am such a girl next door,nothing extraordinary about me.damn now i am sounding too modest hahaha!!!!!!

too many things running in my head right now.actually my mind is always this hotch potch of thoughts.cannot remember a time when i am not thinking.sometimes u notice this lost look on ppl and u r probably like"penny for ur thoughts" and they'd be like"i am blank".damn i am never blank.never ever do i remember a time since i have attained consciousness that i have not been thinking.its also cos a lot of ppl tell me i think too much.someone said thats my problem.but then me wudn't be me without all the nonsensical thinking i do.there is always food for thought in my mind :).

anyways i am gonna be living in a new city really soon and even though i was apprehensive about it but now the idea has started sinking in and guess i have accepted the fact.we don't always get what we want the way we want.most of the times in life we don't get exactly what we want.when i look around me also realise in someways i have been so lucky and i really thank god for these blessings.i really really hope that i have the zest and passion in me to go ahead with my dreams when the time comes to fulfill them because it aint gonna be easy and needs a lot of hradwork and relentless pursuit.don't know if i'll ever get there.but then i have to.i want to.but i guess i am on my way :).