Dec 10, 2005

And The Days Go By So Fast, Wonder How I Ever Made It Through....

well time really flies .seems only yesterday i came here and now its time for me to go back.a month just flashed past by n i never realised .yeah but i did have to live through each moment ,each second and each minute ,those agonising moments but i sure have emerged stronger.know now that i don't need anyone .i can be happy myself and right now thats what i need.i do not need to be bound .in someways i have too many things to do and cannot afford to centre my life around someone ,though given a chance a few weeks back i would have happily done so.

but god obviosly had other plans and well i have so many dreams .cannot give them up right now for some person who doesn't even want me to be a part of his life the way i'd want to.u said u never look back,well even i am not gonna look back ever . i am finally at peace with myself.thats what is most important at the end of the day.not that i don't miss you but this is the way it was supposed to be and everything is in its right place.with time i won't even want to talk about you and god forbid but i do not want you to read this blog ever hehehehe!!!!!!!!damn another one bites the dust :).

Dec 7, 2005

Feelin Like A Monday Someday I'll Be Saturday Night

yeah well haven't been feelin too happy lately but it has been gettin better and i am sure with time it shall get better and i shall just forget all this shit .know i don't deserve this ,wonder what da hell do i deserve in the first place ?ain't ever gonna bulid my world around anyone,someone who wasn't there or chose not to be there.sometimes though when i think of old times ,bad times i am like yeah this is gonna come to an end.god i am talkin such incoherent shit,nothing makes sense.but yeah there have been a lot of lessons learnt.maybe i should just make a list out of them.think i shall so that the next time i remember hehehehe!!!!!!!!!!thank god for life movin on,imagine being stuck in the same rut forever.but then it also depends on our choices i guess.though sometimes when life is going all hunky dory i do feel like capturing that moment and living in it forever:).

so here's to me ,and here's to you,here's to our dreams and hopes,hope we are happy wherever we are,and most of all here's to future and its unpredictability.

Dec 3, 2005

Here I Am ,This Is Me ,There Is No Where On This Earth I'd Rather Be

heyyyyyyyyyyyy so here i am ,back to square one .right from where i started.yeahhhhhhh been feelin soooooooooo bad but hell its gonna be fine .sometimes i am almost convinced that this aIn't my life but a story happening or right out of some movie and its gonna be alright.haven't i been through this before .but then i am what i am because of all my past experiences and i wouldn't wanna be anywhere but right here ,right now in this present moment .

everything is gonna make sense someday ,its all a part of some bigger plan .know it'll take time but once i am over it then probably i shall be able to see things from a better or different perspective .i do not wanna be stuck in this rut any longer.wish i could just wipe out all those conversations or even better still white wash the last 7 months from my memory.guess i learnt a few lessons .

though when i am all alone at night or early in the morning when i wake up and can't get back to sleep i am almost convinced that we'll meet again.this cannot have such an an abrupt and arbit end.can't believe that i'll never be able to tell you the smallest and the silliest of things,tell you about all the boring mundane things in life.can't believe that in some ways i have lost my best friend.but thats the truth and hell u wanted it this way.sooooooo byeeeeeeee forever .

Nov 26, 2005

Moving On

well so much so for movin on in life .keep tryin to keep my mind diverted but damn its kinda hard ,really hard .never asked for this .but then do we ever ask for tears .was too good to be that its all over i am trying to hold on to it .know i gotta be positive and know that life goes on but even then ..............

goin to Agra today .so i finally get to see the famous Taj Mahal.shud be fun .atleast i hope so .i wish i could wash all those memories away.but its never that way .just gotta live through this all.come to think of it ain't a big deal .a few months and i'll be out of that god forsaken place .talk about being cynical .i just wanna be happy ,sick of feeling miserable .

damn i am gonna be happy and all this shall come to an end and life has to change and this too shall pass.