May 28, 2010
I am soooooooooooo sooooooooooo sleepy. Arghhhhhh! I had to get up from my seat and take a walk around the whole floor to fight the sleep until I reached the cafeteria only to be greeted by the locked glass door so I banged into it and made cranky faces at the coffee guy who was courteous enough to get me a cup since this was their recuperating hour.
I miss the rains and the grey cloudy skies. I am tired of this parched dry heat that is consuming everything anything within its grasp. I imagine those rains in Calcutta where I came back home hopping skipping and jumping amidst the merry pitter patter of the raindrops with just an umbrella to shield me. I miss the smell of the rain on earth the mostest. Seems like a dream now when all I can see is dust and dust settled on everything. We seem to be eating copious amounts of dust unknowingly. I wish the rain would come once and for all and wash it all away, the dust, the grime and most of all this angst.
After almost 27 years of living on this planet I got my passport within a period of 24 hours flat. What joy when I finally held that navy blue booklet in my hand after an inexorable struggle of filling in wrong forms, managing verification certificates in the last moment, standing in the endless cues and having conversations with the most random people. Guess whose going for a holiday real real soon. Yes tis me, tis me. We are going to be whisked away to mysterious and magical places. :D
Work has been a tad bit disconcerting. I mean the bottom line being I hate playing second fiddle but I guess time hasn’t come for me to hold court as yet so I remain the not so silent spectator. I almost lost my calm exterior today but realized it is gonna be futile. I cannot be constantly fighting for something that shall get me little or no credit at the end. I haven’t given up but I am waiting in the shadows and I am watching always watching. My gaze is like that of a hawk’s and there are days when I feel that damn I am definitely not the world’s easiest person to work with so I realize she isn’t having a great time either.
Mum and I had a fight the other day cos one of those silly grooms on a marriage portal didn’t look like he was my types and I made the cardinal mistake of expressing my displeasure and man what a mini storm followed when I was told in plain words that when the men I like don’t wanna do anything about me there is precious little to be done but look at marriage portals and check out these almost dead profiles. So there I sat listening to that entire lecture of how I am only getting older and yada yada yada and how I always chose the wrong men who never wanna commit and how Dad isn’t around and it’s just different now. To be honest I didn’t have an argument for that plus the other solution being I had to promise my Mum that I just wasn’t interested in the opposite sex and was happy living a dignified life minus men in my life. But wait there is an end to this story and guess who had the last laugh???? The next day the guy’s parents (who had oh so enthusiastically called up Ma the day before for my snaps) called up the contact person in the marriage portal and said “But our son was looking for somebody fairer” . Hahahahahahahah! My Mum apparently told that chick very conceitedly that her daughter had already rejected the guy and banged the phone down. Ah well he was actually so not my types is all I can say and I wish I could have told him so on his face. ;-)
Hmmmmm…. I think these Cheeni Japani Subcontractors( one just walked passed by my seat) who keep frequenting our office with that permanent harrowed look plastered across their faces are so pink and cute. There is something so endearing about them or so I think cos on the table they are such tough people to negotiate with. The Japanese are the easiest to work with over here at least and the Germans are of the nagging variety always wanting to make money of us for their own losses. (No offence meant to any nationality.) :D
On Fridays I feel the world is divided into two categories of people; those who have Saturdays of and those who don’t. Sigh!!!! A parting thought but the world just might be my oyster now or hope it will be someday.Adios. :-)
May 17, 2010
And I accept defeat and yes we do have a love hate relationship. I have hated you, cursed you and wished I was all alone as the lady of the manor. You too look forward to days when I am not around with my disapproving gaze literally breathing down your neck. Maybe you make me insecure or maybe it is because you are so different. You do hide your insecurities if any really well and the only time I am made aware of their existence is when you sneakily go off upstairs in pursuit of the necessary information/details/ correspondences or draft a reply to a query jointly addressed to us without my knowledge and before I know it the query has been answered and the mail sent out. There are times when I am so livid and I could just claw your eyes out and there are times when we are having so much fun be it at the airport site getting lost in that magnanimous structure of chrome and steel and gliding across the walkalators gleefully as if both of us are flying or be it drafting so called important yet nonsensical letters and waiting with bated breath as the Dark One reviews it and sends it back to us with his feedback after having deleted almost all our language or be it at the World Book Fair waiting for the palmist to read my hand as he made a sincere attempt to make me cry saying I am gonna be having a trouble laden life and you laughed on his face and walked off with me asking him to **ck off.
I remember the time you took me to the hospital when you needn’t have since I was perfectly capable of going so myself and I even remember the time when you walked off with all the credit on a letter drafted by me. I don’t even know if you meant it to be like that or it just happened. There is something about you and people are instantly taken in by your charming exterior that use to get to me the first two months until I learnt how to live with it. Now I can see through it and I have finally realized that naaa you ain’t half as bad. It is just a case of two women who compete against each other all the time and ain’t gonna give up even an inch of their space. Some say competition is healthy and I finally believe that it is. I know I haven’t been any better as I always try to pry into your phone conversations wondering if you are secretly working on some issue that I ain’t aware of and I have been downright rude in more occasions than one. However knowing that you are sitting just a work station away does make me want to work harder, better, research more than the usal, read that draft a couple of more times than I normally would have and reach the Dark One’s cabin before you do. Sometimes its almost like a race and man what a funny race this has been fighting over Subcontract packages so if you are Queen of Electrical and other works I am the Queen of the Baggage Handling System while we deal with Airfield Ground Lighting and Fire Fighting together trying to make sense out technicalities that leave us muddled and jumbled in the head.This has been one hell of a ride as we have cribbed and complained all the way for having landed ourselves at this blasted construction site in the middle of nowhere but someday when we look back we'll realise every minute of this was worth it.Yup it does take all sorts of people to make this world and it takes all sorts of relationships to add a little chutzpah in this otherwise mundane and ordinary life and maybe sometimes to the wonder of wonders it takes an airport being built for two very unlikely people to come together and forge a working relationship. Brightly lit runways shall always remind me of you. Hoping we get to work on many many more dazzling beautiful runways and more than anything three cheers to this AIRPORT. :D
May 10, 2010
I spent almost half of Sunday just downloading music from the Billboard Top 100 and listening to it and transferring it on my MP3 player as a consequence of which I have lots of funky new music to listen to for the coming week. Yeayyyy! There is something comforting about listening to new music that doesn’t remind you of anyone and you have no memories associated with any of the songs and I like that. However knowing life I am sure over a period of time once again one starts relating these very songs to people, places, cities and moments that remain etched on your mind forever. I have so fallen in love with Kesh’s “Your Love is Like a Drug” and Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”. (This is as Lady Gagaish as Lady Gaga can get Hehehe!! )
Some days I feel I could pour all my heart out but then the public forum that this is one cannot do so but till a certain extent. Yes I try to be as vague as possible about certain people so as to let the mystery remain. On second thoughts I don’t think anybody would care any longer. We all lead busy lives and far removed from each other. It really doesn’t matter. Someone said she couldn’t relate to the oblique references in my blog any more or maybe identify them any longer.
So the funniest thing happened the other day when Red Head and Batty were in town at the same time and as expected I was in my elements. :-) I had been trying to hide this certain goof up of mine from Red Head for a while and wonder of wonders she somehow guessed it all thanks to Finooo of course who was supposed to play along but poor thing got hoodwinked into telling the truth and three of us were in splits. Shame on me cos I was plain laughing at my own misdeeds. Oh and we had quite a merry evening when we spent much needed time with Fido while Batty and Miss Touch Me Not joined us later. Later Red Head was giving me worldly advice and I listened quietly cos she was so right. We even sat and laughed in unison at all the so called prospective bridegrooms on shaadi.com and the Tamil matrimony. Did I tell you that one of them looked like Bappi Lahiri’s body double and one of Batty’s potential alliances could be readily passed off as a dacoit right out of the ravines of Chambal? Hmmphhhhh! :p
Work has been bothering me off late because people are up to playing the dirtiest games and guess who gets caught in the middle or is just a pawn in the big picture. I am trying to learn how to be a silent spectator and I am surprised that it is not coming easy. I thought I was the silent types who prefers to be in the background and not in limelight all the time. I was wrong since I am becoming increasingly outspoken as I grow older.
Last weekend I cooked Chicken Biriyani and got drunk with roomie and her boy friend. So roomie is my childhood friend and we almost grew up together. Her dad was Baba’s bestest friend from the regiment. We go back a long long way. She is getting married to this guy who treats her like a complete doll and controls her like one too. I can’t stand the way he does so. He is sooooooo critical and always commands over her. She takes all of it almost silently and I am plain astounded. He is nothing but cordial, civil and friendly with me but his behavior does annoy me once in a while and I tend to be blunt and express my views out aloud. I don’t think it is a good idea. Her life and her boy. These moments are one of those rare ones when I thank God for being single. I would rather be alone than be with someone who thinks he owns me whole and soul.
I think the nicest part of the week has been hanging out with all the pals. :-) Makes a world of difference knowing they are in town and you can make some random plan or the other and we’ll go out and do absolutely nothing but crib and bitch and poke fun at anything and everything and come back home all happy and brimming with contentment.