Jan 29, 2009
Do not feel like shifting, not one bit, not at all but have to. Hmphhhhh! Why? Oh why? Why does it seem to be on the move constantly just when I get a little comfortable with my surroundings. I meant life by the way.
Hate the feeling of being not wanted, being the outsider, and I know I still am in this place and the Walrus and the Pretty Maid haven't accepted me for who I am. I wonder if they ever will.
Have this plan all hatched out in my head, something which might pay off in the long run. Hope I can go through with it and hope I am inspired enough.
Realised that most of the times I can slay my own dragons that spread havoc in my head. It feels good though they don't seem to go away forever and will always be there in some form or the other.
Have this wierd craving for the Fillet-o-Fish burger ever too often these days. Dude I am gonna be putting on all the weight that I lost, right back in the wrong places.
Am reading Daphne Du Maurier's Jamaica Inn and savouring every page. I love the sound of the moors, the winds, the dark and dreary English countryside and the gothic timeframe.
Have been having long conversations with Miss Lemony Pie and managed convincing her to do something completely unlike her. She is such a prude in some matters and to think I coaxed and cajoled her into something so funny gives me a quite a thrill.
Learning how to find myself again and realising that this was never gonna be easy.
Know that my sentences are halting and incoherent. Pardon me.
Found the warmest of quotes which says :-
“May God grant you always...A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.”
Jan 23, 2009
Jan 16, 2009
Jaiiiii Hoooo!! No this isn't a toast to Slumdog Millionaire. Think it has won accolades enough and I don't need to be spreading word around about the acclaimed movie or the brilliant music. I was just happy and this song is playing and the lyrics are stuck in my head. Its 9:30 in the morning and Fino and I are on this "sending utopia songs" trip even if I get to hear the songs in this 20th century PC hahah! I am at my family friends place vegetating or rather recuperating. Its a friday morning and I haven't gone for work and oohhhh such luxury. Don't you just loved those days when you have a valid reason not to work especially when you have been working like a dog (was about to say slumdog heheh!) and putting your heart and soul into it. I am learning a hell of a lot here at my new workplace and I have started enjoying what I do probably for the first time in my life. I never ever thought that the dry and colourless Company Law could hold immense possibilities even for the likes of me.
I have cutest colleague whom we are gonna christen Meggy and about whom I was very apprehensive about initially when I joined and whose been making the rounds of the hospitals with me entirely on her own prerogative. Minus all of that we have fun working together and she helps me out when I am stuck at a loophole trying to make sense out of some case law. Although a cute boy at work would also help the cause cos we are a 4 man army here and we are desperately in need of some entertainment sometimes when the books and the statutes bring out the worst in us. But damn no, Meggy and I ain't that lucky.
In the recent times I've seen a lot of bumps but my friends have definitely helped in making me see the lighter side of everything. I met Motu Boy at the airport (he was on his way to Cal from London)2 weeks back and it was lovely meeting that harum scarum of a boy after a space of three years. He was as boistrous and full of life, all smiling and beaming that made him so endearing to all of us in college. He made such a joke out of all my misdoings that at the end of it I couldn't help but laugh with him at myself. I love this boy and his infectious sense of humour and I'll always associate him with some of the happiest times in my life. I remember one time when She and I had this craving for bread pudding some 10:30 at night and I whined about it to Motu Boy and forgot all about it until voila' the bell rang at 12 at nite and my Santa had actually got me bread pudding from Lucky's coming from half the way across the town. We were paupers those days and for a student to do that meant the world to us. :-)
Hmmmm I wanna go to Noon Wines and have wine( 50 bucks a glass) with Batty and Economist in the evening. Why do they have to be soooooo farrrr away? Grrrrrrrr! A quote to end this post. :-)
"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries"
Jan 14, 2009
Somewhere between working frantically over this wretched Section 187C and worrying about enrolling into the Bar and getting more excited than I should about the most trivial of things I fell apart and found myself in the hospital with saline being ejected into my veins with little or no clue of how I landed up there. You know how it is when everything is a daze and you wake up to find yourself in a place you would never find yourself in because you haven't had the time to even comprehend about the breakneck speed life is passing you by. I don't make too much sense now but yesterday as I lay in the hospital bed and spoke to Batty Woman as she asked me if I was alright and I finally confessed that no maybe I wasn't and I don't like being all alone here with insipid white all around me and the smell of medicines and my hand inclined upwards. That's when I called up Fino crying saying " Please come and yes I don't know why I am crying but I am." She was there before I knew it and took me home and fed me and took lotsa care just like Mommy would do.
It was a minor ailment but it sure made me think about a multitude of things. Like if I did die would it effect half as many people as I think it would or people wouldn't bother cos I had hurt them sometime in the past or angered them by my behavior. Would they still hold the old grudges against me and look back on my memories thinking she never meant anything to us and we'll let one incident cloud all the good times. The couple of hours in the hospital surely made me think. I realised that the first people I would message or call when I am in trouble would be Batty Woman, Fino and the Economist. Batty and Economist probably think I am looney to be messaging them from Bangalore telling them I fainted in office when I probably should be calling up people nearby. Sigh! But sometimes we are so in tune with some people in our lives that the rest do not matter and it maybe momentary but as long as some people are around the others pale in comparison. But I know times change and hopefully we make our peace with the past and certain people find their way back into your life.
I received the funniest phone call last week sometime from Mr.Hazel Eyes.(I meant to write a whole post on him which I shall very soon cos now I think he deserves a full post considering the fact that he's been there longer than I ever thought he would) He called up in the middle of the night piss drunk from Lucknow saying?"Are you sleeping. Go back to sleep man." I said "You have bloody woken me up now so you jolly well speak to me." He said something about his folks looking for a chick for him to get married to and how he was supposed to choose out of 6 women. I was like alright " And"
" Well your heart will break na if I get married."
" Please why should I care whom you get married to."
But ofcourse I just meant to sound cool heheh! Hmmmmmm so like that a tiny hiccup here and there and life is going on fine I guess but I wait for the good times to show their face again.
Jan 2, 2009
Utopia is unimaginably sleepy. What with having hit the bed at 4 in the morn only after being the victim of some psychotic man’s lewd’s gestures in an ATM some half an hour before that when she and Batty Woman ran for their lives back to the cab cos the man insisted on opening his clothes in front of us. Oh God I shudder to think such people exist. Though in retrospect we couldn’t stop laughing about it but it surely scared us.
Oh I have to write about the new year party at the Economists place. So there we were a quite a motley bunch from some interesting walks of life. There were his friends from college in Bombay, his younger brother’s friends from law school ( that kid is just too adorable) , his friends from grad school in London and a couple of school friends thrown in. Fino entered in this exotic white creation and we oohed and aaheed only to be told it was Miss Chirpy’s who was also down for a visit from Delhi. Batty Woman’s 18 year old sibling was there too. One can well imagine what a colourful bunch we were. The Economist played the perfect host and the alcohol kept flowing as the night inched forward to welcome the new year. Sadly I wasn’t even remotely drunk as I only helped myself to three glasses of wine. I cannot say that for the rest though hahah!
Fino was the official barmaid of the evening and the part time DJ as she stood behind the bar cheekily asking “So what do you want?” and giggling simultaneously. Batty Woman was her usal cheerful self except when she got sentimental and vanished for periods when she’d be whispering on the phone. There is this one picture of Economist at the bar with the grumpiest expression on his face almost as if he was saying “Why did I ever invite all of them?” hahah! We women took an instant dislike to a friend’s insignificant other as we chose to call her since she so paled in comparison to her jovial better half. He was the ladies man and she faded into the background. I wonder how the most unlikeliest of couples stick together.
We took some lovely pictures thanks to Miss Chirpy’s fuschia camera. Batty Woman’s brother got his hands onto the guitar later on and he and Fino sang Zombie together and after a while he kept singing his own rendition of “Take me to your heart” until Batty Stopped him saying “Enough. Please go to sleep.” He is such a sweetheart you have to see him to believe it. He and the Economist’s brother have been voted the most favoured of all the younger siblings hehehe!
Last morning we came back to the Economist’s place to pick the brother up and deposit him at the station. In the process we had breakfast there too and played with his dog. ( No I am not a dog person at all. But this one is soooo cuteee) The Rockstar of a brother was suffering from his very first hang over in 18 years of his life and kept exclaiming “How do you guys handle this man?” I had no answer to that question cos honestly I cannot handle a hangover and I have had the worse hangovers in Delhi when the whole day has passed in pain and in the washroom throwing up. Eeyewwww!
I have fallen in love with this bookshop called Blossom’s on Church Street. Batty Woman and I must have picked up atleast 7 books there in the space of a week. The gang even dropped into Zara for a bit last nite and consumed two large pitchers of Mexican Sangria as post party analysis was carried on. Mind you this was after all of us vehemently denied in wanting to have anything to do with alcohol. All in all a quiet new year I say which is a good sign for me. What to you think? :D