Last night as I cleaned up my living room after a particularly lively evening complete with three bottles of wine, lots of pasta from Big Chill and lovely company consisting of A, Nan and M, I looked around at my pink and purple curtains bought so thoughtfully and lovingly from Lajpat Nagar that sunny winter afternoon, I looked at my cute lil pair of jute chairs and my adorable coffee table and the pink and purple rug from Mother Earth and the pink and purple matching coasters, I looked at the scented candles that were meant to be used for a different purpose altogether and I promised myself someday not far far away I will have an apartment, my very own, even if right now packing up everything is tugging at my heart strings more than I ever thought it would. I am such a creature of habit and I don’t like being uprooted. Damn it.
I had the nicest weekend. Ironical now that I am about to leave J and I spend all the time in the world together. I had never thought I could be an easy person to be with too. I do give someone space, I don’t expect you to call me all the time, if you don’t message back or don’t take my call it doesn’t mean anything but just that. It is still you and me. I’ll throw my occasional tantrum and you will put up with it. I am not that person someone painted me to be. I still question the last couple of months. Is it that easy to cut me off from your life? Apparently it is.
So anyways I am putting away all these things and the memories are to be stored away in some dusty corner of my mind. I have to do this, get out of my comfort zone so that I can get to be where I want to be someday soon. The easiest thing in the world would have been to stick around but I chose not to. It is time to move on yet again.
"For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the boys that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it will lead me there to this"