I woke up this morning.....

Last day of the year and I couldn’t have had a more harrowing day. The last couple of days have been like some bumpy ride. I don’t even know why my eyes fill up with tears so very easily. Anyways guess what the icing on the cake is this momentous day? Well I left this really important file in a rick on Saturday and I haven’t been able to trace the guy as yet and now my job is in jeopardy. I can’t believe this is actually happening to me. All morning I have been at the auto stand outside my office trying to figure out who the guy was who dropped me off the N Block market on Saturday and in the process I am like firm friends with all the auto wallahs and I have to say that some of them are soooooo helpful. God bless them but I so want that file. Seems my life has been split into two parts, the life that was before I lost the file and the life that is threatening to take shape after I lost the file. I don’t know what to do. I am tired of crying, I am tired of sitting outside and talking on the phone to Shivi and my Mum. I am so tired of not being at my seat and the funny glances my boss keeps giving he. He knows I am acting strange but won’t say so. I don’t know how to tell him that the file is gone. I might have to give in my resignation letter a couple of days later and the aftermath of all this isn’t a pretty picture. I am sooooo scared. I don’t know why everything has to come tumbling down all at once. I don’t wanna crib, I don’t wanna sound like some drama queen.
Plus to top it all people I had forgotten make an appearance in my life. People who don’t matter at all. I have had the most random people calling me up last couple of days but the one person whose call I am waiting for hasn’t called. The one person who matters the most is clueless about this upheaval I am going through. I am stubborn too. I don’t like fair weather friends.I removed that lovely Christmassy Picture of ours from my desktop. We look so happyyyyy! I wonder what lesson god is trying to teach me this time. I was trying to comprehend what exactly is gonna come out of me loosing my job in such an ugly fashion. I mean really this is no way to exit. I know I don’t like my job, I know right now my finances are so so screwed that if I worry too much about it I’ll get into depression. But hell I don’t deserve this. Okie I think I have increasingly begun to sound like some cantankerous old maid. But no I am not like that. I am a lot of fun and naughtiness too. Last night I’d gone to a friends place for drinks. I hadn’t wanted to go initially cos the last time we’d met I was quite rude to him but gentleman that T is he invited me over. I have mentioned T in an old old post. He is Mister Hazel Eyes in my story titled The Mask.But yeah facts get blurred with fiction so don't know where I drew the line.We met the first time when P was leaving for UK and we’ve been friends since. T in someways is quite different from the guys I know. He is bloody well read, knows his history like the back of his hands, corrects my pronunciations, uses really interesting words and phrases like “et tu Brutus” and listens to me when I discuss poetry with him.

They don’t make too many men like this anymore hahaha! So there I was at his place with a bunch of people I don’t know and yeah all of them were from Mayo College. A was in town and I knew A in college and A and T were best friends in school so thats why the get together. I surprisingly had a nice time. I drank 3 glasses of white wine( Grover’s Vineyard) and it was way better than the Sula and Riviera I’d have. I met interesting people from colourful backgrounds. Met a lad who has just joined the same battalion my Dad was in and I was so gleeful when he said 3/8 GR. Had a conversation with this cute man who studied art history in Scotland. He was an army brat too. Bumped into an old friend and bonded over Pune times and T was kinda sweet and so hospitable. By the end of the evening I was happy high and all the women had left and I was the only one left. T was very affectionate despite me giving him the cold shoulder the last time we met. Yeah he had been so cheeky the last couple of times on G talk though. T would come hug me and kiss me on my head every now and then and I think I liked that. Damn how crazy am I! I was the last one to get dropped after we dropped young army boy to Dhaula Kuan and I insisted on Romeo and Juliet being played over and over again in the car while we got lost and drove aimlessly around while I had amusing conversations with T about how Radhi thinks he is too nice and why he never takes advantage of drunk women and why he thinks biting his ears ain’t that bad an idea.
I got up in the morning and the first thing on my mind was the file and yeah my mind cannot help think once in a while about T but then no I shall not do so. Oh god I hope I get that file. Damn I don’t wanna go anywhere tonite especially farmhouse parties. I am sure I shall freeze. Byeeee people. Thanks for bearing with this whimsical blogger who tries to make sense out of all the nonsense.See you on the other side of 2008 ! Happy Happy New Year!