All I wanna do is to curl up somewhere and sleep and sleep.

I got published on The Rumpus. Yeayyyyyyyyy!

http://therumpus.net/2011/10/priyanka-ghosh-the-last-book-i-loved-kartography/

I am feeling like soooo cooolllll only because it is The Rumpus. My favourite online magazine which is a platform for budding writers and established writers too. They publish writing only because it is good writing. :D

And I miss you

  A very dear friend of mine and I were talking about wedding preps when she mentioned how her Dad is going berserk planning the bash and how he isn’t leaving any stone unturned to ensure that he gives his daughter the wedding of a lifetime when I couldn’t help but think about Baba. I wonder how it would have been if he’d been alive now. All three of us wouldn’t have been chewing our nails as much as we are doing so now besides just having him around would have made a world of difference. The family still feels empty without him. We aren’t a whole unit anymore. This isn’t even about missing him just because I am getting married but the fact that I miss him at the strangest of times. I see pictures of families and see the loving Fathers and it hits me that Baba isn’t going to be there on one of the most important days of my life and all other important days for the rest of my life.
An Uncle  passed away recently, just a day after I landed in Cal and inadvertently I found myself at the burning ghats that evening and it brought back all the memories of the one and only time I had been there two years back to light Baba’s funeral pyre. I remember how much in control of the situation I was until the time came to light the pyre and that is when I couldn’t get myself to do the task until I forcefully closed my eyes and somebody made me light the pyre and I did it all with my eyes closed. I couldn’t bear saying goodbye to my Father in this fashion. None of us can when we lose our near and dear ones. And to think Life still goes on and on. There was happiness and life before and then there was death and a funeral and now there is gonna be a wedding and celebrations. It still feels hollow inside some corner of my heart without Baba like the evening I got engaged I asked one of our family friends Raj uncle, who was a very good friend of Baba, if Baba had been there how it would have been and he said that Baba would still be watching over me from somewhere up there and he is there in spirit. I hope he is.

I wish I had a wedding planner.

 

From Cartoonstock.com

Yes I did vanish. I think two months is a long long time not to blog at all. I have been following the blogs I do regularly just that there was too much happening on the personal front and I couldn’t devote time to blogging and I don’t want it to be like that at all. So here I am updating the blog.

Firstly I got engaged after a whirlwind of what I would like to call something akin to a romance and we are still trying to get a grip on the wedding preparations. There is sooooooooooo much of planning to do that managing everything at the same time gets sooo tedious.  And no I cannot afford one those creative and glamorous wedding planners but sometimes I do wish I could and us and our sets of parents did not get this harrowed. I was home for ten whole days but believe me not even a single day went by when I didn’t have some wedding related task to accomplish. I wish this was just about two people wanting to spend their life together and wooooossshhhhh you are spending your life together . Sigh! Indian weddings I tell you. I could write an entire post on how tiresome it gets with all the running around and managing a full time job and trying to coordinate two different sets of people living in two different cities. The charm wears off so easily only to resurface again when I am with him alone sitting in the car and we are listening to the music and I realize this is why we are doing all of this or when I got my first  glimpse of him as he walked into my house the evening of my engagement.  He’d worn a pristine white kurta with a beautiful green brocade shawl that was hanging casually on his shoulder and he’d done his hair in spikes and he couldn’t stop smiling and that is when I knew that I liked all of him including the fact that he kept joking even as I tried to slip the ring into his ring finger and he gave me his thumb instead.

First day at work today after almost two weeks and I am so happy to be back working. I am not good at sitting at home and doing nothing. I over think, I over analyse the situation and how? I do it so beautifully and it is such an art.  So that is that. Shall write a chirpier and a happier and a longer post soon. Wish me best of luck with the small details and pray that this wedding goes of smoothly without me ruffling too many feathers.