Aug 4, 2010
What is it with empty houses that it repulses me?
Batty left this morning at 8 for her flight and I am left yet again with an almost empty house and an empty room. What is with empty houses that it repulses me? I mean I am all for my space and living on my own and doing my own thing but no I do not necessarily like coming back home with nobody to greet me. Every time any of my friends and family visit I am oh so happy cos when I come back home in the evening their presence will somehow drain all the tiredness and the possible negativity of a work day away. A couple of years back I remember going through my customary boy troubles and picking up Paulo Coelho’s The Zahir on a whim hoping to find some answers there. His writings then still had some of the magic of the The Alchemist and hadn’t become repetitive and as saturated and commercial as they have become today . There was this one particular paragraph on being alone I remember reading. It said something along the lines of how at the end of the day nobody likes being alone and so many of us make our peace with it but given a choice we wouldn’t wanna be walking along this pathway of life all on your own. We humans are born to share, give, take and we thrive on interaction. Loneliness can drive us to insanity and the sooner we realize it the better.
And yet the feeling that surfaced was one of oppressive, distressing loneliness – not having someone with whom I could share the city, the walk, the things I’d like to say...there is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence.