Aug 24, 2010

For all that is now, all that was then and all that never was...


I have been wanting to blog for some time now but the urge comes at the strangest of times. Say in the middle of an all important meeting and we are amidst debating on a very valid point and I get this need to capture my thoughts of this very moment into a post. Of course it doesn’t happen and this moment passes me by. Or I am sitting in Sarvana Bhawan with my Boss and a Senior Manager and over a cup of filter coffee and a plateful of delicious steamed idlis we’ll discuss everything right from work to the sordid state of the Commonwealth Games or something as mundane as Contract Management or how grueling NDA had been to my Senior Manager when he joined it at the age of 16. Guess I am so fond of him because he is an ex-Army Officer and a true blue fauji. There is something so comforting about meeting some of these army men. They remind me so much of Baba. I am totally at ease and he has this silent faith in me which is a little surprising considering the fact that I haven’t been around for a longtime. Yes I am capable and all of that but I’d like to think that it also stems from the fact that I am an army brat and he feels an affinity because I know where he comes from and the feeling is mutual. So as I was saying just as people want to freeze moments into a picture I want to be able to capture my thoughts into specific posts at that exact point of time but alas it really doesn’t happen. The examples and incidents I gave earlier were so much more than what I described them in not so many words above. Moving on to other things. My roomie is being oh so stingy. I am so irritated. She is being tightfisted about ear buds and its pissing me to no end. I mean come on they are just ear buds. Hmmmmphhhhh!


Oh and it was my birthday last week and I was surprised at the number of wishes.  I had even removed my birth date from my Facebook profile but then even if one person remembers and wishes you on your wall then it starts appearing on everybody’s mini feed and the game is up. Mona and I were out that evening though it poured and I almost thought that our plans would fall apart but she convinced me to book a cab and get out early in order to avoid the traffic. There we were four of us with bottles of wine and lots of yummy food. I drank a little too much wine and not to forget the bottle of champagne. As I do every birthday I loved the importance given to me on that one day of the year when I am the centre of attraction or at least I like to think so. Hehehe! By the time we headed home both of us were a wee bit tipsy and happy. Needless to say I had a slight hangover next morning and first half of the morning was spent nursing it and looking all gloomy and morose in office. I also got flowers, lots and lots and a cake and chocolates. Made my day yeayyyyyyy! The next two days were spent taking people from work out for dinners and lunches. I had a heavy and delightful Indian dinner with two of my work colleagues and an amazing Andhra lunch at Andhra Bhawan with a different bunch. I love there spicy, hot Andhra food and we gorged on the mutton and the prawn curry besides the usal fare of sambar and various chutneys and accompanying vegetables with unpronounceable names. (Sorry for that.)

I also happened to meet up with Fido, George and S at Morrisson for drinks after a long long time. I met up with S after two whole years. My last meeting with him had been at Morrisson 2 years back when I left Delhi and it was pure deja’ vu. This old friend of ours saw the two of us together and had that quizzical look on his face cos we hadn’t been seen together there since 2007 when we used to be there some 3 days of the week, him grooving to the music and me singing along first and head banging later once the music got a little heavier and the drinks got me high. S was just as friendly as he had been when I first met him in Delhi all those years back but the difference being that this time I wasn’t gonna fall for that bait. But yeah was so much fun meeting up with the trio and it felt like nothing had changed though Fido and I have had life altering circumstances. And life went on for me and for S and I didn’t miss him as much as I had thought I would when I first left Delhi. Maybe we build up things way bigger than what they actually are in our head. We feel we’ll never meet newer people who’ll make us feel the way we had before. Of course no one makes you feel the exact same way but you do feel just that the feelings are different cos the person is different. One does fall out of love or whatever that was and when you meet the person again you feel nothing, nothing at all but just a little wistful maybe for all that was then and all that never was.

4 comments:

Ricercar said...

welcome back then. roomies are always annoying

Heathcliffs Girl said...

Belated happy bday! i was so jealous when i saw the Andhra food part,its been a long time,but i went yest finally,and had the yummiest mutton n fish :p

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shallowabyss said...

being a romantic always makes u make things a lot bigger than what they really are... been through the same... a numbness descends on your deja vu... it is as surreal as it was the last time it happened to u...