Apr 3, 2010

I made you up inside my head...


I’d never thought that someday you of all the people would make me feel the way you did. Not S, not Fuddy Duddy, not Frankenstein, not Fido Dido, not all those stoopid random/not so random people but you who chose to behave the way you did. You never intended to but right now this is what it is. Indifference has never felt so indifferent. I guess that is what hurts the most. Like you always said that I can be foolishly romantic and every once in a while I need that jolt to be woken up from my reverie and face the harsh reality. Of course life goes on and yada yada yada. You and I both know that. It always has and always will. But sometimes we burn the bridges. I know it doesn’t matter to you right now cos you feel nothing. You never felt anything. And just so you know I don't live in hope anymore. Everytime I hope the world around me crashes down be it hoping for Daddy to live or be it waiting to get that job or longing for you to do something about us.Guess I made it up all in my head, all of it.

"I closed my eyes and the world dropped dead,
I think I made you up inside my head."


Sylvia Plath

12 comments:

The Dude said...

lovely post utopia..
cheers..

Tensor said...

Take care

(¯`•._.•[Raajii]•._.•´¯) said...

well said. People disappoint us. It is the fact of life.

Arunima said...

continue to live out loud. In the end, the battle is with yourself.

arvind said...

they themselves disappoint and nvr
found the reason - how they cherrish u..

J said...

Quite true.. the perceptions in our heads, is maybe the root of all evil?

Rover Head said...

pri? wat happ? ping me

Shankar said...

I know what this means, word for word.

Shankar said...

I understand what you wrote, word for word because I've felt them - each feeling, one after the other.

We burn bridges - we do. Some, so that we can move on, so that the person on the other side can't get to us anymore - to hurt us, some others, we burn - to teach. Because we love the person enough to teach. Because sometimes, the only way to teach, is by hurting.

And they'll hurt when they realise what's gone - whenever that is.

As for Plath - never take advice from a woman who stuck her head in the oven :p

Shankar said...

Oh yes - I read about the second wife too - I forget what was her name. Poor thing ended her life with her daughter. As for Hughes' - Well, some people are just like that.

As for what I said; we are taught too - sometimes we are taught new things, sometimes, we are reminded of the things we once, so dearly learnt. The hardest lesson I had to learn, and was reminded again is that - good people hurt us too. That not all good people, can be good to all.

So yes - Sigh, life...and the likes of it {hehe i'm quoting you on that - even though I don't know your name :) }

Shankar said...

Ah yes - Assia - now I remember! And I have no doubts that you didn't google it!

Sometimes I want to know - but well we don't get what we want :)

Well if you noticed, my name is pretty common too - common is good. And now I'm curious about your name - won't you tell? :)

Shankar said...
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