You don't always make a fool of yourself

Anyone who knows me closely knows how petrified I am of public speaking. I do it only when I am forced to. By public speaking I mean standing on a podium and talking or on a dias. I love negotiations and discussions but addressing a crowd isn't my favourite past time unlike many lawyers I know who are brilliant orators.

Today I just finished with my first presentation at NUS and the module that required me to address the class wasn't even my forte. It is this subject called Intellectual Property Right Evaluation and I have been struggling with this for the last two weeks. However this assignment shall be accounting for 20 % of the assessment so I actually got down to getting my act together. I prepared for the presentation all over the Law School, from the library to the sunny staircase to the benches in the green field and it finally went off quite well.

But I have to confess there was this one moment when the presenter before me was going on at such a fast pace and I was secretly thinking okay I cannot speak so fastly and I wanna run away but how can I possibly do that when I am in a room full of undergraduate students who seem to have gotten used to my Indian presence and some of them are even a tad bit friendly with me.

 I have to mention my Aussie Professor though who has been so welcoming and understanding to someone with my work history where I have hardly dealt with IP rights the last 6 years. I don't know how this module is ever gonna help me but then again who knows. Thank you soooo much Prof for your words of encouragement.

So my weekend spent in indulging in nefarious activities like getting uselessly inebriated and dancing to "balam pichkaari" till 3 in the morning to throwing tantrums for romantic interests to come and pacify me,  didn't really have a downside. ;)

 

And I keep trying like I always have

I think I am back.

Singapore has been an eye opener of sorts. I am so out of any comfort zone that existed back home.

Till a few days back I kept asking myself why did I do this to myself? Hopefully I'll have a more convincing answer 10 months down the line once I graduate.

There are days when I feel I am the biggest idiot walking on planet Earth and there are days when I feel no there just might be some substance in those grey cells of mine.

I am surrounded by serious 22 year old Singaporean students or over excited 25 year old Indian post grad students and then there is me who turned 30 last Saturday.

I know where I wanna be, now I do but I don't know how will I find my way there given the bad markets and pronationalist Singaporean policies. Sigh!

I am struggling. But I try and I fight the blues tooth and nail every single day.