Nov 3, 2008
Cos I am Miss Brightside
Its 6:30 in the morning and I have been up since 5:15 cos I keep tossing and turning and can't seem to get any sleep. Maybe because this is gonna be the first day of my new job and I don't know why but till last morning it was fine until I started getting the jitters at night wondering how is this gonna turn out to be. I hope I can live it up, live up to my employers expectations, to my own and sort the financial mess out cos believe me right now very few people would wanna be in my shoes considering the state of my finances.I am scared of not being able to settle down and managing this with ease. I get a feeling I will but until I get there I ain't gonna be sure of any of this.I know I am gonna be judged and inspected be with with my work, my appearance, my attitude and just about everything and that is what makes me nervous maybe but I also know that I can handle all of it and it'll be fine with time. At this moment I am trying to convince myself more than anything that I'll be alright and this was the right step in the right direction as someone told me. We can't be sure of anything in life can we?
I was soooooo cranky yesterday. I saw " Life in a Metro" and cried puddles of teardrops hahaha! I don't even know what exactly was bothering me. The new job, not having all the old people around but I do have really close friends here too or I'd think of S and feel teeny meeny bit bad. Sigh! I saw some pictures of an engagement of these two juniors from college on Facebook last night and I swear to God it seemed soooooooooo alien cos they have their entire life planned out and as for me well I don't even know where I am gonna be two years from now forget about being sure about whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with.I thought I was but it was such a fleeting one sided phase and the lesser spoken about the better.
Oh I think I am feeling better already cos yeayyyyy Fino is up and she is surprised that I am awake way to early. I am listening to Mr. Brightside by The Killers and this is gonna be playing in my head all day I am sure. Wish me luck people cos I really need it and Good Morning!
I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all