Growing up means handling heartbreaks better. Or does it? Just the other day I was thinking
oh so complacently, in the face of issues in office with the Boss and the state
at home, and I was like the only thing I have learnt how to deal with
effectively all these years from 16 to 32 would be heartbreaks and rejections! I think feeling heartbroken was such a
familiar emotion for me. It was comfortable and
I was so at home being rejected and heartbroken. I had my break up songs
that would be playing on a loop. I had my girls in every city I went. There are
coffee shops and watering holes you go to and drown in green tea and cocktails
and smoke copious amounts and bitch and bitch until you can bitch no more. You
rip the object of your former affection apart piece by piece and at the end of
the outing your brigade has convinced you how you are too good for him. Sigh!
I even found a new
set of girls to crib and whine to in Singapore as and when I felt the
rejection. Sigh! I haven’t that here. I wonder if I will, I doubt I will. My
people that is what I miss. I need to meet my girls and talk this thing out.
Any one will do. Two of them would make my cup overflow with happiness. I miss
my friends so much that it hurts. It happens every single day. I am like what
am I doing here without my friends? Without them and my loved ones I am nothing. They make such a
large part of me and if you cannot find a new band then its time you move on.
There has to be something that roots you to a place. Sadly this place for me
will not have roots. Just holidays to Europe will not keep me going. They are
mere oasis’ in my otherwise barren life here. I want more. I want green
pastures, I want freedom, I want the liberty to be myself, I want love and
laughter and giggles, I want magic and the feeling of being whole. That is what
I want. I want the opposite of loneliness. Absolute opposite of loneliness.
