Mar 17, 2010
Watching life pass me by.....
Someone told me the other day that I could either chose to sit on the fence and watch life pass me by or get down right into the middle and get my hands dirrrrtyy. Have I been sitting on that fence for too long? What about my “ahaaa” moment? Do we have to sit it out for a long long time before something concrete comes along your way? Is it because I didn’t want it badly enough that I landed up compromising? I wish it hadn’t been this way when all I was left with was this one option, the old option. Sometimes it is like I fell flat on my face and I hate it when people ask me why did you come back? I don’t feel like telling them my long long story that sounds like some melodramatic movie. I hate answering questions on why, how, when and what now? I don’t know about what now. I have no idea and no stupid lofty plans. I’ll take it as it comes whatever this is and wherever this may lead me. It isn’t bad at all but just that I didn’t see myself here. No I wasn’t supposed to be here at all but here I am and took me sometime to even accept it cos initially I just saw it as my failure to get anywhere in life. But as each day passes it gets a little better and things do brighten up and the grey starts to fade away. Doors open up, side doors mind you and the sunshine starts creeping in. You start building your own little niche again be it at work or be it with the new house. You get into a routine and you find ways to keep yourself busy on weekends with old friends and some new ones and on weekdays when you tire yourself out at the gym. It is never as great as you make it out to be and never as bad as you make it out to be. This is it at least for now so might as well make the best of it cos who knows when the winds of change come in tomorrow and blow you away in some other direction.
“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.”