Oct 20, 2009
And Maybe I Missed the Bus....
I have been frantically job hunting last couple of weeks. Hmmmmm! It is such a tedious process begging people to give you so and so’s number or so and so’s e-mail ID and then mail them and introduce yourself and beg some more. I hate this begging game. But then such is this world. This job hunt sometimes is all about how well you beg baby. I am also right in the middle of shifting offices and houses simultaneously. What luck that the new apartment gets ready the same week the furnishings in the new office are completed. Though this new office is gonna be far far away and travelling is gonna be quite a problem. Hmphhhhhh!
I keep looking all over the country for jobs though I am hoping Delhi works out while heart of hearts I wanna go to Bangalore. But the only incentive for both would be a good job only yes. I promise I don’t wanna land up in certain cities for specific people but of course that would definitely be a cherry on the cake hehehe! Come on I am being honest atleast. My mind is always wandering these days. Sometimes when I look at overachievers it hits me that damn maybe I missed that bus a while back but its never too late is it to make the best out of what we have and dream a new dream.
When I try opening those books in the evening and settle my mind and concentrate on what the printed word is saying there is this sense of power and hope that comes out of nowhere. I know I probably didn’t get down to doing exactly what I wanted to but I can try this wholeheartedly and see where this takes me. No more long term planning please. This is gonna one day at a time, one day at a time. Even one day doesn’t seem to be as easy as I made it out to be. My mind is a veritable maze of thoughts, all higgledy piggledy and I wish I could sieve through them and cast all the negativity away.
I snapped out of something recently. Lets call it a distraction that saw me through a rough patch. But then I guess it assumed gigantic proportions and wasn’t fun anymore and even if I knew exactly where I was going wrong I wouldn’t do anything to rectify my aberration. It took one 10 minute conversation for me to realize that I see you exactly for what you are and I am not gonna be deluding myself any longer. I realize each day that only when I think I deserve more shall I actually get more. Till then I can keep fooling myself and be happy with whatever little scraps I get. Am I talking in riddles or not? Hehehe! I am not gonna be waiting for the wrong train in the wrong station this time. Period! The bottom line being baby if you are as stingy as you are then I am just not that into you. Sowwiee!