Of purple lips, sandy hair, Gulmohur blossoms and the sea

Goa was excitement and lots of fun and full of Gulmohur trees in full bloom. Gulmohur blossoms against the blue sky is a sight I have cherished since childhood and Goa this time around was just that.  I took a gazillion pictures that only we will remember fondly. After dusty and hot Delhi, sultry and sweaty Goa was like a soothing balm on our souls. We visited pristine white churches and an old Portuguese House built in 1756 that incidentally belonged to a Portuguese Advocate (Wow!) and was inhabited by him, his wife and their 4 kids. His law degree was from Lisbon and was framed and hung lovingly on the ancient wall that had turned yellow with time. By the time my Mum had progressed to seeing temples Nutty and I put our foot down and asked the folks to proceed. We happily sat outside the temples clicking pictures of each other against the background of shady pav bhaji joints with swarms of tourists. Our tolerance level of the heat, dust and grime has increased considerably I must say as I do not remember feeling irritated at all. I was enjoying the sticky mess my clothes were and the salt on my lips and the feeling of sand in my hair.


Souza Lobo was delicious and the whole family announced my choice to be the perfect one. How we enjoyed the Royal Goan Prawn Fry and the Kingfish Curry Rice and the Prawn Masala Rice. The spicy Pork Sorpatel with only a slight hint of sweetness was devoured by Nutty along with the Cheese Nan. The Aunt and the Mother were instantly debating on how to make it at home. The desserts were divine. I have never tasted such creamy Caramel Custard before and the helping was huge. The Tiramisu was wonderfully bitter.

The beaches, what can I possibly say about the sea and sand. They were in perfect harmony with the waves. I love the sea. The sea will never cease to amaze me. I marvel at its beauty time after time. Like Lee Ann Womack said "I still feet small as I stand beside the ocean." Nutty and I climbed down every cliff we could and made merry in the beaches as we waded in the sea water and jumped from rock to rock and each time without fail I nearly lost my chappals. Some hapless local boy would swim into the water and get it for me as I looked on squealing that there go my pink chappals that Mona bought me from Goa  last year. Our lips were purple after eating jamuns sprinkled with salt that were being sold in paper bags by the local women in those tiny stalls on the winding and curvy paths leading to the beach. They were velvety soft and had melted slightly in the sun that made it even more luscious. We bought insanely coloured harem pants and a funny Goa magnets for my refrigerator. We would be talking in Bengali trying to figure what price should we quote and of course the shop keeper had to be Bengali and he would understand exactly what we did not want him to understand.

We even went water biking in our black and white dresses and what a fright I got. I think I can be a scaredy cat in the water and all Nutty did was to laugh at me being so frightened. I looked like a bedraggled crow by the time we got off. The River Cruise was more of a circus with the strangest people and a cacophony of sounds . Punjabbi music followed me to Panjim too and sadi galli was played in full blast even here. We were more intent on clicking a few more pictures and capturing whatever beauty we could in the frame so that on some summer afternoon when I am down and out and the loo is howling outside eating away at my soul I can look at this picture of the blue blue sea and imagine what it was to be standing at the beach with the spray of waves on my face and the whisper of the sea breeze in my ears and a Gulmohur blossom that I picked up on the sea shore in my hand.

What happens when you realize “us” was the only chance of a story you would ever have? As I walked out last night, happy, giggling, 3 drinks down and as you looked on at me wondering if this was true and you finally realized I was actually  choosing not to spend an evening in close proximity with you.  That even after you asked me to stay back for some more time I walked away.  

I am the Queen of Random posts

Okie so this is gonna be another one of those random, random posts. Am I turning into the Queen of Random posts ? Maybe I am but wtf this is my blog. Heheh!

You know I got the craziest urge the other while on my way to office in the morning sitting in our blue and white bus with blue velvet cushions and no air conditioning as we zipped along the dusty Kapashera highway and as I changed the music on my mp3 player which is perenially on shuffle from one song to the other I came upon Shakira’s Waka Waka the Spanish version. I fell in love with Waka Waka last year just before the soccer World Cup and have been wanting to sing it in some karaoke place but somehow do not have the courage to do so thinking what if I make an utter fool of myself? Anyways so this summer morning I had a lot of things running through my mind including how I need to pick up a foreign language for a certain reason and then I got this idea on how I would love, just love to be able to sing Waka Waka in Spanish so why not learn Spanish once I get a test out of the way. So there you go someday I dream of being able to sing Waka Waka in Spanish at some Karaoke place and sing it convincingly and to be able to get the pronunciation and diction right besides Shakira’s seductive and sensuous lilt. That is something one can probably work on but imagine being able to sing Waka Waka in Spanish. Sigh!

I found a particular online magazine which professes to be anti-pop culture. I feel pop culture is a very generic term so I couldn’t quite understand exactly how it is against popular culture but nevertheless the bookish me found a treasure trove of articles in this site. I particularly liked this article that was meant as a graduation speech for a class of English Creative Writing pass outs. I loved one paragraph :-

“You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts. You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth.


But that’s all.”

Some of my friends would so agree to this as I remember our conversations about people our age earning mindboggling pay cheques and the sheer materialism doing rounds on social networking sites read FB statuses. Initially I told myself okie maybe this is just about grapes are sour but when I delved deeper into it I realized no grapes are not sour but it is the public display that is atrocious. Someone on my FB list shifted out of her older home to a bigger better place and even before they shifted in she’d put up a picture of the huge balcony which is obviously such a luxury in Bombay and titled is as plain “BALCONY”. What followed was a line of comments and questions like so is this place bought or is it on rent. Like really do we need to know that just be happy looking at the pictures no?

Another one of my favouritest websites these days is this one. Yeayyyyy they have such treats for the food bloglover every single day and pictures are another different world altogether.

Oh and the funniest thing ever happened day before as I got a call from this shop called Vero Moda from where I had picked up a pair of jeans a month back and filled up some voucher for a lucky draw and surprise surprise I won the lucky draw and the prize being a lunch date with VJ Rannvijay of MTV. The lunch date I never went for because of bad PMS. Hahaha! I think this lunch date came a decade too late. So not excited one is at 27 going on 28 about supposedly hot MTV VJ.

I think I should be off to Goa this weekend unless something important at work comes up. I hope I do. I haven’t seen the sea for such a long long time. Good bye for now.

Sharing recipes and sharing laughter! :-)

I have fallen in love with this Travel and Food blog and last couple of days I just cannot have enough of these posts and the fabulous photography, mainly food photography. I love reading food blogs, a habit I seem to have developed the last one year or so when I first stumbled upon Nupur’s One Hot Stove and then Meeta’s What’s For Lunch Honey? I love the homely touch in Nupur’s blog and she is great with Indian Vegetarian Fare and Meeta continues to amaze me with her photography skills and the sheer variety of recipes right from salads to main course to desserts. Not to forget the Bong Mom’s Cook Book with her take on traditional Bengali cuisine. I adore the tiny vignettes of personal stories these bloggers weave into their blog posts. It is amazing how these women sitting in different corners of the globe manage to balance their diverse little worlds with the work front, household chores and kids and yet they find the time to post recipes regularly with the most gorgeous pictures. I guess these are just a few of the food blogs out of the thousands present on the internet today but they are a part of a generational change as food bloggers have brought about a veritable revolution in the industry as celebrated food bloggers have grown to exercise an influence on the tastes and palate of the foodie public. Most of them started out with their blogs as a hobby and for some of the passionate and lucky ones with time this hobby changed into a full time job. Wow! I don’t know about you but every time I am looking for a new recipe I always look for it on the internet and invariably some food blog would have some tried , tested and enjoyed recipe and of course I give it my own touch but these recipes never disappoint me.

We went bowling this Saturday and we had such a merry time but for my little thumb that was almost dead and swollen and painful after three rounds of bowling. There was M and two of her friends S and K and of course me. We caught the last show of Ragini MMS after that and I was so not impressed with the explicit scenes but the ghost of the old maharashtrian lady chanting “mah chudail nahin” did give me the creeps as I shrieked my lungs out but the majority of people in the hall were laughing and I asked S why is everybody laughing and am I the only one scared which was actually the truth.  M walked out after half an hour cause she hates horror flicks and I felt like such an idiot to have forgotten so. Hmmmmphhhh! My house is full of people now as Nutty and her friend M create quite the ruckus and add Ma in who loves the constant twenty something banter between the two as they burst into giggles every one and a half minutes and we wouldn’t even know what they find so funny in the most ordinary situations. To be 23 again and to be able to laugh at anything and everything again. But to be very honest us friends do manage to do that every time we meet up like Fino, Bratty, B and I in Delhi this November. That was the craziest night ever and whenever we reminisce that night and how irritated Bratty got with B for getting all of us sooooooooo drunk that they almost missed their flight the next morning , we fall of our respective chairs and beds in Bangalore and Delhi or that drunk night at WTF and China House in Bombay and all of us together after so long and the next morning on our way to Pune, Rad, Nik, Fino and I went on and on about the funny incidents the night before that all our plans of taking a much needed nap were forgotten. How much Tinni and I laugh every time we think of those sidey boys following our auto (but then at that time we were sooooooo scared). Nothing like sharing laughter with friends and family I say.

A fun weekend, the two P....ma's and a horror flick :D

I had a fun , fun weekend. La di dah di dah!  I met up with two different P…..ma’s over the course of a day and a half. I am not divulging their names but the first letter and the last two letters of their names are the same. Hehehe! So Saturday evening Nutty and I were at Bennigan’s cos Batty’s brother made a plan and Nutty quickly decided I would be escorting her there and if I was so close to P….ma1’s place in GK2 then I had to ask her to drop in considering the fact I haven’t met up with her for 6 months. So there we were a merry bunch with R and his funny friends and the cherry on the cake being it was the karaoke night. Bennigan’s was full of karaoke regulars who meet up very often as I noticed the air of familiarity that everybody greeted each singer and how the crowd ooheed and aahhhed and cheered every singer on. We sat at the bar and munched on Fish Bites which were very bland if I may say so. But we also had the most amazing and lip smacking Bloody Marys I have had in a while and the last couple of weeks I have been going out pretty often and trying the same cocktail out in some 3 different places but the Bennigan’s Bloody Mary won hands down over the two Turquoise Cottages’ and Morrisson’s Bloody Mary. So a hands up for that. It was so spicy and chilly with just the right amount of lemon juice and the salt on the edges of the glass. I tried the Falafel platter later but the Humus was sooooooo tasteless and the Falafel was over fried and overdone. Yes I have had better Lebanese food before but I think one should visit the place on Saturday if not for anything but the happy cheery atmosphere and the loud music that is so needed on a Saturday evening. No this time I did not take a rick back at 1 at night because R being a gentleman assured that we were dropped home. Such nice gestures from a 20 year old was so refreshing. Of course being Batty’s kid brother I do have a soft spot for the child.

Last morning Nutty and I headed out to meet P….ma2 for lunch in this place called Gun Powder in Hauz Khas village. I have never been to Hauz Khas village before but P..ma2 lured me to it promising me the most amazing Andhra/Coorgi/Mangalorian Cuisine and who was I to say no to sample such delicious spicy fare. We reached Hauz Khas village way before and wasted some time at this tiny café called Bagel’s Café where we drank Iced Teas and ate a raisin cinnamon Bagel and took some random pictures. I loved the black and white photography on their wall and I am going to come back for their various cream cheese bagels very soon. Our table had been booked for 12:30 and the lanes and bylanes being all curvy and narrow it took some time to find our restaurant and what a surprise as the entry is soooooooo shady and tiny and one is greeted by this big balcony overlooking the lake and tables set out. I lurrrveeeed the food. We had Buff Fry and Pork Ribs and Pandhi Curry and Meen Curry and Malabari Parathas and Butter Milk and how much we spoke and spoke and gossiped about strange people in the restaurant and the strange people and not so strange people from college. Hahaha! P…ma2 is such a sweetheart. Nutty and I followed that up with a show of Haunted 3D at Vasant Kunj and we were scared out of our wits. I mean yes it’s a silly often told tale but I almost always enjoy scary flicks that centre around an old house in the hills and the spirit of a lovely maiden and the foreign returned hero trying to be her knight in shining armour and the evil spirit etc. Haha! I think the 3D effects was what did the trick as the spirit seemed to be in the same room as us movie watchers.

Monday morning and I am still a happy happy child. Ma’s coming day after from Calcutta and M tomorrow from Bangalore. It is gonna be a full house for a month. I like that. :-)

P.S: On second thoughts why for heaven's sake am I sounding like a part time food critic in this post? Hahaha!

Yesterday

That the funniest conclusion me and F came to was there is a higher purpose as to why we have always lived so happily with little. That F and I have always been the Queens of the saddest phones in the market but for interim periods in the middle and that we can laugh about it even now.

That I actually, truly cut somebody out like snippety snippety snap and that is such a huge burden off my mind. That I didn’t even know I was carrying it around for the last couple of months. That it feels like Whewwwww is it actually over?

That work is taxing and I am running from pillar to post trying to reach an even ground and reach to a consensus and sometimes I feel it is an impossible, mammoth task. That by the end of it I’ll probably get no acknowledgment whatsoever. That it doesn’t bother me as much as it would have a couple of years back.

That I cooked some very bad chicken last evening while talking animatedly on the phone with an old old friend who touched some chord somewhere. That strangely I like the way my hands smell after chopping all that onion and garlic. That even this morning on my way to work I was smiling just thinking of our conversation when there had been nothing extraordinary about it.

That my sister made me cut my pretty pretty nails that I had recently acquired saying she won’t touch the food I make unless those nails are chopped off. Hmmmphhh! That my fingers feel funny and I keep looking at them thinking something is missing.

That I am writing utter nonsense but then what to do it is this urge to write. That I couldn’t think of anything else right now.

Just another chapter

I believe “Booooo” is my favourite exclamation these days on all messengers though understandably so it never has the desired effect on my friends. Hahaha!

I am loaded with workyet when I find time alone with my thoughts I keep asking myself the bloody same questions. Sigh! I think at some level I am tired of myself and my predictable reactions to the same situations. Sometimes I feel that whewwww after coming such a long long way it still seems the same and makes me feel like life hasn’t moved an inch forward. I think as we grow older we like to believe we are evolving, life is evolving and we are more mature and we shall deal with situations differently in a more controlled manner. Well you know what that is utter rubbish cause I have seen some of us react the identical way we did years back to situations today. Hahaha!

What a revelation? To think I was trying to convince Fino today that I am dealing with certain circumstances in a different way for a change and she refused to believe me and why would she when my track record on the same is MISERABLE. I am a very bad judge of character where the men in my life have been concerned so much so that I have reached a point wherein if I am interested in a guy I have asked my close friends to remind me that there has to be something wrong in the man. I cannot possibly like somebody regular and nice. I only like men who either lose interest too soon or are just not interested in me or they screw my happiness. Giving them the benefit of doubt I am sure they probably don’t intend to but hell the result is almost always the same. It is a pattern isn’t it? . I think sometimes we just need to be alone.

Tinni was here last weekend and what a ball we had as we shopped till we dropped and wined and dined like Kings. Hehehe! The scariest thing happened on our way back from TC on Saturday evening. We guys were in a rick cos I was in my “saving money” mode though Madam had been so adamant we book a cab but I was hell bent on taking a rick back. We were followed from Vasant Kunj to the Domestic Airport by this bunch of guys in a car and they had the audacity to get off their car at a signal and threaten me saying “you either give me your phone number or we’ll keep following you.” I confess I was petrified and Tinni witnessed eve teasing at a completely different level that night. I mean in Kolkata, Pune, Chennai, Bangalore or even Bombay we haven’t been subjected to such treatment by lecherous men but Delhi men win hands down where crass, uncouth and appalling behavior towards women is concerned. What is it with this city that evokes such uncivilized reactions in men? I don’t get it. Anyways thankfully I got a brainwave and decided that we’ll head to the domestic airport and station ourselves next to the first cop and not move from there until those hooligans leave. I think airports make me feel oh so safe. Hahah! That is exactly what happened. They left as soon as we took a turn for the airport realizing they lost the game. We heaved a sigh of relief and took a cab home this time. Alls well that ends well. However I am not hopping on to any ricks late at night. Period.

Come May

I have been wanting to write for the last couple of days but I am mostly tired by the time I actually get down to sitting peacefully in the corner of my sparsely furnished living room and invariably the next day blogging about something that seemed so bloggable last night doesn’t seem tempting enough.

Delhi has been having very pleasant weather off late. Surprise, Surprise but it has been the coolest April in years. However I can feel the heat coming, can feel it in my bones, the long power cuts, the permanent furnace that the world turns into when all we want to do is to stick to the air conditioning. Such extreme weather and come summer the one topic that is going to dominate the rest is gonna be (note FB statuses) weather.

I read this beautiful book called Kartography by this Pakistani author called Kamila Shamsie. She captured the political turmoil in Pakistan in 1971 and the aftermath in the eighties so thoughtfully and sensitively. I was utterly transported to Karachi and after a long time I read a book I did not want to get over with. Sometimes, though as a child it was so much more often, but sometimes when I am reading a good book I don’t feel like coming out of my storybook world and Kartography was one such book. Maybe it a sign of being an escapist or maybe I just needed to distract myself. Also imagination can be such a powerful tool.

I saw the moon day before in the evening while I took a bike ride home from the Sector 6 market with Vik and the moon looked, round, bright with tinges of yellow almost like a ripe juicy orange waiting to be eaten. Hahah! I pointed it out to Vik who sadly did not see any beauty in it. Sigh! Why do I even bother these boys? R, J and I had spent an entire evening roaming around in the market, whacking the mosquitoes, having juice and gol gappas and talking about appraisals and thinking of ways and means to go to Bhatinda for R’s wedding. J wants to go by car and Vik insists on a train. I left it to them to make a decision as I am game for whatever they decide.

I haven’t been to Punjab in a while. I don’t count my one visit to Chandigarh for a day for an arbitration as a visit at all but of course there was Rad’s shaadi when we were in Chandi for 3 whole days for the Big Fat Punjabbi wedding. :D I spent two years in Punjab in this small town called Pathankot when I was 8. J’s is from Himachal and his town Nurpur is 2 hours away from Pathankot and most of the times when anyone asks him where are you from he just says Himachal so when I asked him exactly wherefrom and said I had been there he was pleasantly surprised. He was under the impression that them big city people would have never heard of his home town.

Come May and I am going to have lots of houseguests starting from my sister her crazy best friend Malvika and of course Mommy. Before that Tinni is staying over for 3 days this Good Friday weekend. Yeayyyyyy! I am sooooo excited as I am sorted till June. Hahah! I am a sucker for good company I tell you. But aren’t we all?

Mango Pudding and The Science of Being Single :-)

I  had Mango pudding and Vanilla icecream for dessert this afternoon with Pra. :-)

Met him after three years and he gifts me some chick lit called “The Science of Being Single” and no we did not choose it together for me but he happened to pick it up some 5 mins before I entered the mall. Do you think it’s a sign? Hahaha! C how many hours did I spend crying over him in various DTC buses 6 years back? Hahah!

I had a long conversation with a BFF today cos she lost someone very dear and someone she looked up to and admired  and we were discussing how  different people handle death, loss and grief. It hit me how lucky Nutty and I are to have had Ma around. Not for a single day after Baba’s death did she ever say why did this happen to us and the way she moved on with such a zest and passion for life that all we had to do was to blindly follow her footsteps and live our life to the fullest.  I wish I could be half the person she is.  My Mommy phenomenal. 

 I read this somewhere :-

" I believe with all my heart that cliches are true, that we are our own best friends and best company, and that if you're not right for yourself it's impossible to be right for anyone. You are so lucky to have you. Don't lose sight of that."

My Mum lives by this every single day of her life. :-)

Find time to smell the coffee maybe....

I realize that over the course of the last one year a lot of my posts took shape this way as a consequence of me feeling dreadfully sleepy. As in I would suddenly find myself free of work one afternoon as a result of working like a maniac the whole morning and then the sleep monster comes visiting and trying to spread its tentacles on one more innocent bystander/ hapless human being and all one wants to do is to grip the monster by its shoulders and shake him till his teeth shatter and shoooooo the sleep away. I hate feeling sleepy in the afternoon if there isn’t any possibility of catching that much coveted afternoon nap. It is a luxury only reserved for Sundays and come to think of it even on Sundays I find myself doing household chores and the rare times I actually manage to take that long long nap I for all intents and purposes wake up all grumpy late evening. So afternoon naps and me are so not made for each other.


So here I was reviewing something unimportant and scanning through a couple of my favourite blogs trying to fight the sleep away. I tried, I tried but damn it the sleep made me feel soooooooo groggy. I kept putting that coffee off thinking I’ll wait until R comes back from site and we can grab a coffee together until I realized noooooo this “ I am gonna fall asleep on my desk and actually be caught napping very very soon ” cannot happen in reality. So I got up with a mission, took my wallet and walked till the GMR cafeteria and ordered a Latte for myself from the Coffee Day Express. I have finally learnt how to appreciate these small mercies now. Yeah I have. :-)

I bought myself a packet of Cream Cracker and helped myself to the Latte and a bite of my favourite biscuit. That first sip and I knew what I had been missing all day. Damn it I had gone the whole day without coffee since I ran out of the house early this morning at some god forsaken hour for some work in Ghaziabad. I happily munched away the biscuits and drank my entire cup of coffee all by myself sooooooo gladly. I don’t think I have ever ever enjoyed a cup of coffee this much ever before in my whole life. Now I know what that eternal optimist who coined the term “take time to smell the coffee” meant. :-) Reallyyy I felt so happy just to be alive and content enough to appreciate this small moment that I bought a packet of Oreos for the boys and the glee on their faces as I gave them the packet and the way they fought over each crumb left me with a smile on my face.

I am a free free bird :-)

And I woke up one day in the morning and it was goneeeee. Like whooooossshhhhhhhhh gone just as I had thought it would. Just as it did each time when I least expected it. Just when I quit trying too hard for it to go and just when I actually, truly, really let it be.

I don't wanna see that face of yours beyond the forehead and that I really don't have an option but to catch a glimpse of every now and then. I don't need to find excuses or whatever reasons I used to look for. Hahahahah! I am a free bird finally.

Date a girl who reads.....

I found this on a website (the link of which refuses to upload) and I really hope all of you book lovers read it especially my BFFs cos all of you are book worms and fantabulous women.

I know maybe it kinda a lil mushy and over the top but tis lauuullyyy nonetheless.


"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

Rosemarie

PS:  I have never read a Murakami ever but I have been advised to read Norwegian Wood by Saggy. :D

Dedicated to Shivi whose having a bad dayyyy! This is one for you especially cos tis soooooo you. Muahhhh!

To live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

Guess who was having a bad day after the last couple of weeks being all happay happay and joyous? So as I sat and watched the match alone last afternoon sorrow my old friend came visiting me again and all the good work of the last couple of weeks seemed to have been washed off. All my promises to keep myself happy each day, working towards that dream and living in the moment vanished and all that was left were these stupid silly tears and I didn't even know what exactly was bothering me or maybe I did. Nothing made me happy. Not even India beating Pakistan by 29 runs in a not so spectacular fashion when on ordinary day I would have been elated and brimming with joy.

I woke up despondent too though I confess I tricked myself into thinking all was good. I come to office and open my inbox only to receive a nasty e-mail from a senior from the head office whom I had been dealing with for a legal notice and I had been so understanding and cordial and how does he repay me? Well he turns around and puts the entire blame on my shoulders. I was taken aback more than anything. People trying to put each other down doesn't even appall me anymore. It is understandable. I am not even being pessimistic about this. Sometimes this is just the way it is. We live in a dog eats dog world I thought and went about my work with a mission.

Rav and I went for coffee and I was trying to act all is fine until he broached yesterday's topic and I erupted. I knew all along what was bothering me. I just needed someone to acknowledge it. When I see someone who is some 4 years younger to me at work hear me out so patiently when we ain't even good old friends from college but known each other for half a year maybe or not even that, I realise all is not always wrong with the world. Even on bad days someone does come around and make you smile or surprise you with their enthusiasm to get your work done like another colleague who got the information I needed in a couple of hours and left me dumbfounded. I was getting myself ready to hound him for the next couple of days and getting the info or our Counsel whose neck I have been breathing down turns around and sends me a message to "Relax and I'll take care of it." I know that all is not always fine with the world but I also know all isn't always bad with this world.

I sent a text to Rav saying "Thankuuu for listening to my gibberish. Someday when we are in different and happier places you and I are gonna be laughing at all this silliness." He says "So true. :-)"

So here goes this Howard Zinn quote I stole from Fino's blog which left me with a "things will fall into place" feeling even on a bad bad day.

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places--and there are so many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."
--Howard Zinn

What a marvellous reason to be able to get off from work early!

Its D day today and all of us are looking at heading out of office to watch the mother of all matches with our buddies or within the comfortable confines of our homes. Honestly I can't wait to get out of office. What a marvellous reason to be able to get off work early! I don't even think any of us are taking any permission. It is just presumed that we definitely do not want to be watching this grand spectacle in this clinical white and grey environment. To think Mohali is almost as the crow flies. Sigh!

I finally got permission to activate my BB services on my new phone. I was actually asked to get permission from the Project Director. I was astonished like WTF! I am fickin' gonna be paying for it anyways and all this officialism for something as measly as BB services.

Abhi's boyfriend who is a die hard cricket buff shall be on the train throughout the entire period of the match just so that he can meet her tomorrow cos it happens to be some anniversary of their's. Wow I wouldn't have done that for any of the supposed ex loves of my life. Like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYY am I gonna be sitting in some rickety train while the match of a lifetime is taking place.

Okie my thinking is too clouded today with anything except the match. Abhi, J, Rav and I are gonna be taking a lift from this fool who has been making goopy eyes at me as long as I can remember. So this morning at the cafeteria over coffee I was thinking out aloud saying "How do we go home?" and cheeky J with that smirk on his face says "Why with Mr. Goopy Eyes? He offered all of us a lift last morning itself." and for once I agreed cos we really don't have an option the other being taking a metro which is super duper fast and fancy( The airport line) but today I don't wanna make even that much of an effort.

So here's to the Indian team. May you play splendid cricket and give the men in green a run for their money literally and figuratively. ;-)

“Winning isn't everything...it's the only thing.”

Vincent Van Gogh 

What a random post!

Its Monday morning and to think I drank 10 glasses of wine last night. Well no that is an exaggerated figure and  I drank 8 glasses I am guessing.  Sigh! Smarty pants that I am I woke up early in the morning with the beginnings of what would have been a horrific headachy hangover. So guess what I did? I exercised it all away. Hahah! I jogged for 30 odd minutes and woahhhh my headache vanished. Well almost and I am in a state wherein I am capable of completing all my pending work. I am sooooooo thankful or else one entire day gone waste nursing a hangover and making faces trying to look busy in office. Though I had perfected the art of doing so last year sometime.  How I hate being unproductive!

So last evening we had a merry time at DGC drinking lots of white wine and the party moved to Capri Italy in Defence Colony where we had more white wine and lots of Siciliana pizza and spinach and mushroom cannelloni.  It was M, a friend of hers and I and what a merry time we had. I am surprised how we form these preconceived notions about people and how they break that first impression which most of us try to hold on to until proven wrong. This friend let us call him N made M and I laugh till our sides split and we had so many similar stories to swap that at one point M was like no Pri it’s my turn now to relate my account of those sheer torturous meetings with all these wedding portal men.  I think I can write an entire post on all our cumulative experiences meeting these shaadi.com men as M and I call them. Hahaha! 

And damn it what is with these drunk dials? But to my defense I am much much better off than before. I remember the scolding Rad had given me in Pune saying”What is with these drunk dials Pri? That is sooooooo Cosmooo(as in Cosmopolitan the magazine. Rad feels I have been reading too much of those hence the usage of acronyms like LBD for Little Black Dress which Finooo and she kept tripping on.) and completely ridiculous.” So I am a good girl now and I only make drunk dials to my best frand Batty or J. Batty drunken texts me too at 4 in the morning from some Channel V party she will be at and when I get cute yet strange texts like “Drunk. Drunk. Drunk.” I laughed out aloud when I read it later.  Batty said “please it is better than texting you know who”. I nodded in agreement.

With J I give myself just that much liberty that I can call him only when inebriated.  :-)  I feel I have the right to. He knows  that these are the liberties I take with only him now. I know he won’t hold it against me or keep it in his mind and over analyse it and think there is more to it. There is nothing more to it.  Oh and Batty and I got BlackBerrys and I know we are probably the last people in the world who got them but so much excitement I say. Heheh! We can’t stop discussing the features and exchanging notes trying to figure it out. :-) Here is to a happayyyy week ahead.  On second thoughts what a random post. :-)

A fabulous piece of news, Calcutta Chronicles and an alarming fight... Heheh!

Hullo I do have stories to tell. Lots and lots.  I have had a great day beginning with a piece of fabulous news from Finooo who got through Harvard for her PhD and all of us cannot stop stomping our feet out of happiness along with her. Heheh! I have my shopping chronicles to write about and oh what an eventful afternoon it has been with my Mum and Nutty. I think they can be the most amazing people to shop with and the most nightmarish simultaneously. How can I ever put down on paper the horrific fight those two had over a pair of shoes?

Yes that measly pair of shoes was what they fought over and all because Mum thought Nutty bought one for the price of two while I bought two pairs for a lesser amount. There were fireworks in New Market as Nutty walked away with a huff and a puff in one direction and Mum walked off in another and I did not know whom to run after and whom to console or whom to side up with and finally ended up scolding both of them for creating such a scene.

All our fights were forgotten once we entered Chamba Lamba as I bought a pair of delicate silver anklets for myself and ear rings for Mum and a nose stud for Nutty. Now anyone who grew up in Calcutta in the 90s will know the Tibetean Curio shop called Chamba Lamba where we spent many an afternoon during school days buying numerous beautiful things all silver and the oohhs and aahhhs as they took out their gorgeus trinkets for us school girls to drool over. Strangely Chamba Lamba still has that effect on me and I am transferred back into that veritable fairy land everytime I visit it.

We hopped over from Chamba Lamba to Nahoum's and feasted on Brownies and their divine chicken patties. As a rule the health conscious me avoids such oily and sinful treats but today was an exception since coming home has become such a rare occasion albeit a joyous one each time. :-) After that the three of us headed to the stinkiest and oldest part of New Market cos Ma wanted to pick up chicken for her biriyani and we stood around making faces as the shop owner went about beheading the poor chicken with such clinical precision. Came back home all tired and happy with  my goodies.I can't wait to wear my chappals, and kurtas and my trinkets.

Last evening Nutty and I met up with Tinni at the Bridge in Park and these two could not stop chattering and gossiping. My God they have some capacity and yes so do I. Hehehe! My Great Aunt whisked up the most delectable prawn curry for Sunday lunch and its called Chingri Machher Malai Curry in Bengali and I wish I could have done justice to it. Why, oh why do I have to be genetically predisposed towards putting on weight? ;-) I even went for the longest run and felt happy and healthy.

On days like these I feel yes Baba is looking over us. :-)

I need a new recipe for chicken curry.... :-)

I cannot seem to stop laughing today like laugh laugh till my sides hurt laugh or laugh till I have to crouch and sit down on the cafeteria floor laugh. Laughing on such absurd things like the atrocious language used in a poorly drafted letter or some silly little incident that happened eeons ago but we are reminiscing the same and the laughter just came gushing out of me sputtering out refusing to stop.

I am going home this weekend after a long long time after having waged a battle with my Mum the past weekend for wanting to go on a mini holiday at this prized destination that I have been dying to visit as long as I can remember. Mum with her iron will did not budge an inch so that holiday was bid adieu to. Hmmmmphhhhhh! I am holding it against her so to make up she is indulging me and buying me a new LCD television set. Yeayyyyyy! Though that still doesn’t compensate for exotic holiday that I missed.

Have called the mad Abhi home for dinner and I have promised myself that she shall be fed 700 gms of chicken while I make do with the remaining 300 gms. Though I wanna try some new recipe this time. My Cook Sister did not answer her phone to give me fresh ideas on how to spice up the chicken. So I am thinking. Still thinking. :-)

When I get a chance to sit it out silently or talk, I talk. :D

The Kings's Speech brought tears to my eyes. Each of us have our own battles to fight and sometimes the battle might be with yourself while giving a televised speech in front of the nation that is looking at you to be a symbol of hope and courage as a war is declared or it might be something as minute as taking part in a college debate wherein all you wanna do is to run away because you are terrified of facing the audience consisting of your contemporaries in law college. I have had a stutter as long as I can remember and it was Fino's idea that I take part in this debate to get rid of my trauma of public speaking and encouraged me all the way and did so without fail every year making sure I mooted when I wanted to do anything and everything but face my worst fears. I don't remember much of that day and I don't even remember what I was debating on but I do remember that the only face I looked at in the audience was Finoooo's and I do remember that all too familiar and dreaded feeling of breathlessness overpowering me as I started reading that speech out aloud.  I didn't do magnificently at all in that debate  but I  learnt one lesson  that day which has stayed with me and always shall and and that is when I do get a chance to sit it out silently or talk, I talk. Yup I talk.

P.S : A lot of people now don't recognise this speech impediment of mine and are surprised if I tell them that I am afflicted with the same. I say I have perfected the art of disguising it. Hahahah! Though yes it someways it still is a battle with myself.
 

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

 

Shel Silverstein

A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God

And then there are days when I am Super Duper ("Wo")Man doing a million things at the same time. Hahah!

I cook, I clean, I work out, I do the dishes, I socialise with two different sets of people, I tidy up the house and even find time for my beauty treatments that includes a pedicure and a home made face pack and lots of castor oil on that head of mine.

I made chicken in white sauce with mushrooms last evening and it was my first time and yes it is a very very easy to make dish and it turned out surprisingly well. :-) Sister could not stop oohiing and aahhing over it saying it runs in our genes and we are all born fabulous cooks. :D

So since I am a very quote person and it is International Woman's Day tomorrow here comes my contribution to the occasion albeit a very saucy one. ;-)

“There's a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God.”

Sarah Miles

You have suffered enough and warred with yourself it's time that you won...

I realised today:-

1. I love being in charge especially at work. Damn it I have actually evolved into such a Leo.  Its such a far cry from the days when I would slip into the shadows far far away from the limelight. The stars are definitely way stronger than I thought they were.

2. Its great fun meeting fellow bloggers. I met up with A and I really didn't feel like we had met up for the first time as we chatted and exchanged stories over brownies and Chocolate Fantasies. Of course it does help if one has been reading her blog for almost 4 years now and that we seem to be going through a similar crisis in life. ;-) The pitfalls of being 27 going on 28 I tell you.

3. I am so happay for this friend of mine. Sigh! Maybe, just maybe we were right all those years back in believing what we had believed so staunchly.

4.  I miss "Mr.You Got Me At Hullo". If you read this ever will you know that this is "you" I am talking about?

Can you imagine the feeling of liberation?

I tried very hard not to blog first thing in the morning but I failed. Here I am blogging at 10: 20 on a Thursday morning after having resisted doing so for an hour and a half. I have managed to reply to my high priority e-mails so the feeling of guilt isn’t wrecking me as of now. Heheh! I haven’t been having a very exciting life off late. Sigh! Not that my life is like a movie or anything close to it but my personal life does seem to be right out of some chick lit novel every once in a while in fact in recent times it just seemed to be uncannily similar to some melodramatic and over the top chick lit paperback until I was made to sit down and understand that this isn’t anybody’s idea of normal. So here I am having gotten all free, some part of it is voluntary and some part by default and yeah strangely it is such a relief in some ways.

For instance in a very long time I don’t keep checking my phone every 30 seconds and don’t get excited every time it rings hoping to see some name flashing or a text from the same name saying hullo in the morning or good night at night. I don’t wait with bated breath as my inbox opens each morning hoping to see a Facebook message from someone or an intimation on how so and so likes some five year old picture of mine. And I haven’t even deactivated my Facebook account like I did each time with a failed (“love”) affair looming in the background or unfriended the same people associated with the failed affairs like I have made a habit off. Hahahah! Can you imagine the feeling of liberation? I think initially it was just this big big void but I have started to fill it up with small things, little things that shall hopefully manifest into meaningful things someday in the near future and even if they don’t I am alright with it.

On the other hand I have these three huge pimples on my face and I am trying so desperately hard with every homemade remedy possible. Last week I actually made some orange peel pack at home, as in I beat fresh orange peels into a pulp and applied to my face. All this at 10 at night mind you but alas the face became even paler making the three pimples look even more prominent. I bought three different face washes and two scrubs from Khan Market hoping they shall have some effect but to no avail. Every time I look into the mirror all I see is these three mountains staring at me. Hmmmmphhhhh!

Oh and I became a fan of Masterchef US though everyone says its cos I never caught an episode of Masterchef Australia . I am guessing they are correct but then I couldn’t stop myself from cheering Whitney Miller the 22 year old from down south Mississippi as she churned out dish after dish some great and some not so great and not to forget her signature desserts that definitely played such a big role getting her so far and beating a hundred other amateur cooks , winning 250,000 dollars and a cook book contract. :-)

I gotta head back. Work beckons. Sigh! :-)

“It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

Dale Carnegie

With the brush we merely tint, while the imagination alone produces colour.

I am feeling like James Bond today. Hahaha! So proud of my time management skills.

Plan to cook Butter Chicken with Nutty in the evening. I should remember to pick up cream.

I am wearing sea green beads with my green kurta. I picked up the most colourful beads from Either Or in Pune this time but somehow cannot find something to wear it with. Think I shall buy something just to match it with the pretty beads.

I wanna finish writing something I have been sitting around with for two whole days though I am so apprehensive about it. I am not confident of my writing skills right now. Hmmmmphhhh!

I spent a rainy rainy Sunday with Megha that included a scrumptious Chinese lunch, book shopping and ended it with coffee at her place while we happily FB stalked people we know in common or even those we don't know in common. How I enjoy FB stalking people with Shivi and Megha. Hehehe!

Don't fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold..

I fell in love with this cover of  Romeo and Juliet by The Killers. :-)

Sometimes voices remain just voices.....

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Steve Jobs
 
How I love his quotes! :D

Apni bhi koi uljhan ko door karkey dikha do humko....

:-)  Seriously after all the talks I have had with my BFFs and some really good friends over the past one week and a half (in various different parts of the country) if I can finally see sense I shall have to thank the following :-

1) Finooooo: What would I ever do without you in my times of mindboggling confusion ? Even the fact that you sat me down in that coffee shop called Aromas ( man did it stink or did it not stink. hahaha! ) in FC Road and made me tell you exactly what I had in my mind and  how exactly I planned to go about it and that you have never ever given me such a strong piece of your mind when you broke down every myth I had in my mind. Think I was almost in tears but I guess I needed this. Sigh! Now I am not gonna talk just act. I don't know how far I shall get but somewhere I shall get for sure. Oh and we finally figured the name of that Doors song after so many years. Yeayyyyyyyyy! "Touch Me Baby". : D

2) Rad: Mother hen you were like those couple of days and oh so understanding. I miss your constant questioning and I can't thank you enough for the long talk you, me and Finooo had that day in the balcony. I lauuuu your house. Think I told you that enough number of times. I wanna see more of you and Nik. :-)  Not to forget Nik for the constant supply of brownies and goodies and the music in the car he plays which I'll always remember.

3) Saggy: The more I say the lesser it seems. You don't read my blog ever but one Sunday spent with you was enough to realise what I miss the most about living in Bangalore. My Counsellor who almost always gets my sanity, my eccentricities and my wild streak.

4) Hazel Eyes: For patting my head so many times that night in the balcony as I sat lost in my wine induced haze and  ranted and raved about life and its unfairness and cos you think I have a good vocabulary. I knew I did but it feels good coming from you psycho. On a more serious note you have always been around and help me out when I least expect it though I know I suck at keeping in touch and despite the funny history we have had we are friends. :-)

5) P: For coming up with the most outrageous suggestion over chat on gtalk one Saturday afternoon. ;-) Though it does seem elusive right now but I think I finally saw something for what it is worth. Heheheh! This one's for girly, tipsy times I look forward to spending with you. ;-)

This is what happens....

This is what happens when you go back to a part of the world that was home once upon a time.
You meet old old friends, get all happy and giggly.
You can't wait to exchange notes and spill it all out.
One gets drunk over Bloody Marys, B52s and strange beer shots.
The sister is pronounced to be a mini version of me.
The jokes are so familiar, the kinds you wish someone cracked more often.
It doesn't feel alien like the city one lives in.
Warm, welcoming and fuzzy inside.
Holding hands and wondering next morning.
Ah well remnants of some old emotions, the last bit.
Picture after picture taken.
Dropping Mini Me at the airport while we bicker.
 A voice I heard early that morning and thinking if it was real after all.
A three hour long journey that ended with yummy Thai Lunch at Malacca Spice.
A newly done up beautiful and gorgeus house, with the prettiest knick knacks, that has R's signature style in every nook and cranny.
An evening spent with R and P with lots of conversations, laughter, some tears when one realises maybe I needed just this.
That voice once again.
Fitting into each other's lives or all this is gonna amount to are fragments of conversations?
Curiosity, confusion,  some peace and last of all maybe HOPE.

Aaya karo ji kadi saddi gali bhul ke vi.... :-)

Can't enough of this song. I wonder why. 

Stars shining far away

So your sense of self worth shall come from a degree then ultimately. Is that how you think?

I don't know.  How else is it supposed to come in the present circumstances pray tell me? I don't wanna lose sight of my goals yet again in the pursuit of stars shining far away. I never seem to be able to reach to them anyways.  But if that point ever does come in the near future can I have them both that degree and personal happiness the way I want it.  

I don't wanna be anything other than what I have been trying to be lately. :-)

I love straying away from the sidewalks

Its Saturday evening and shockingly I am not dying to get out of office. It has been a relatively lazy day with me lunching at Asian 7 with Rishi and hurrying back to office but not before we checked out this 70% sale  at Mango. I tried out this pretty dress that looked very Bohemian but alas I need to lose 5 kgs before the dress falls properly on me. My weight issues will never cease to bother me.

The office is getting empty day by day. I wonder how long am I gonna be here. Its been one whole year at this Project and I am getting that itch to move out once again. But where to next should be the question? I so wanna fly fly fly and then come right back home. Meeting Shivi in the evening.  At least I won't be doing my usal "sitting at home on a Saturday night and watching a movie" thingy.

People at work are so fake and wierd. I always maintained my distance with them cos I never really looked for a social life at work. Some of them are jealous for the strangest of reasons and it has nothing to do with work related competition. And some just turn plain insensitive overnight and the reality being they'll never come around however much you wait for them to come around. No one is coming around this time.

On my knees

The last ten days have been a period of introspection and retrospection. There was good news, long awaited happy news and some bad news again. But I guess the bad news was all about how I take it and process it in my head. I went through the familiar pangs of this can’t be happening and I do not deserve this to this is what was meant to happen to Okie so what did I get out of this experience to yes I can get over with this and finally it was all in my head. I realized that sometimes sorting my life out or getting clarity is not as easy as let me start working out and everything else will fall into place. I know it sounds incredibly silly but the last couple of years I equated exercise to feeling good about myself and the first step towards getting my life back on track. Sadly this time working out seems to have lost that old magic. So introspection is working. I went  wrong with a couple of things in the middle. Actually to put it simply I went very very wrong in my thinking and to go back a couple of years and rectify that is such an effort and it cannot be superficial rectification. Will it sound cliché if I say I think I am finding myself all over again? Oh my God I sound so much like Miss Eat Pray Love on the road to self discovery. And to think this has nothing to do with my weight but the forever present I need to find my true calling once and for all.

 I was miserable initially but it is getting better each day. Each day that yuck feeling that I get early in the morning is weakening. Maybe one of these days when I wake up it’ll actually be gone. It was always like that for me when I was going through a testing time and I felt as low as I did for a period of time until one fine day I woke up to a different morning. Winters can be so trying. 2 years back it was Dad and last year it was some other issue and this year I think this is gonna be self discovery and believing in myself. That is gonna be toughest part.

It just feels like a bottomless pit of despair right now. Uffffff I am over and done with this now and this very moment. Enough is enough!!!!

And just like magic it was 2007 again....

My first post this year. Happy Happy New Year to all. Since I had one entire week of sun, sand and the sea I was a happy child indeed until I landed back in Delhi on 31st night at 11 pm. Yes can you imagine that I spent the beginning of this year on a cab way back home. That sinking feeling returned again as soon as I got out of the airport. Hmmmphhhhh! Need I say anything more. I don’t wanna go on and on about the same thing. This year Shivi and I have decided we wanna have different conversations cos we are mighty tired of having to talk about the similar things for almost a decade or so. Gawd are you listening? Take the hint for once pliss. Hehehe! 1st January was spent in bed entirely or I mean almost cos I was too lazy to get out and it was too cold and windy. In the evening when I finally got down to taking a long walk and buying my weekly groceries some loser on a bike tried to snatch my bag away and thankfully could not the bag being a huge leather one. Yesterday I was out for lunch with a friend of mine and we had yummy lunch in Big Chill at Khan Market and followed that up with a two hour chat at Barista with me speaking non-stop. Sometimes I just feel like talking and talking and yesterday was one of those days.

But the best part of the day was meeting Aben and the gang after more than 3 years. I have been in Delhi for a year and I haven’t met up with my old gang even once cos I never felt like it after the stupid fall out R and I had. We finally met up for a drink since Aben was in town. Wow it seemed just like old times with Aben, R, Atin and Ateet. I felt nothing had changed. It was a pleasant feeling when I realized that yes R and I can probably hang out again without bearing massive grudges against each other. Same old R ordering an LIIT and me with my fascination for Baileys and Aben complaining about how cold the draught beer was. We shared a hookah and reminisced old times. Atin welcomed me with his huge Atinish bear hug and Ateet as usal was like where the hell have you been woman and why don’t we see you more often. My reply of I live in a village and its kinda difficult getting out and coming to the city was met with laughter and we understand look. For a couple of hours in my head I went back to being what I used to be. Not that I can ever be a part of that happy family feeling again but it was lovely meeting them and just like magic it was 2007 again.

I bought nuuuu shoesss!!!!!!!!!

I bought new red crocs and I lauuu them. Please to be sharing the excitement with me. I am proudly walking around in them all over. Heheheh!

The Best Laid Plans

And I would have had a white Christmas instead of the sunny one I am having right now. How life changes? The only constant seems to be the change. The best laid plans indeed went awry.

I love winter. I do.

I love winter. I do. I am loving the cold weather even if one has to wake up to freezing mornings which are so sunshiny with the cold nibbling away at us at every given opportunity. I lauuuu the warm water baths,  the steamy mirrors when I can’t barely see my own reflection, my furry pink knitted socks, toasting my feet in front of my miniature blower, cuddling up inside my purple quilt and my peach blanket.  I bought this gorgeously fruity banana shampoo the other day. I don’t know how appealing that sounds but my hair sure smells all yummy. Last night I even enjoyed the feel of the biting cold wind on my face as I hitched a ride on a cycle rickshaw back home. I was wrapped up of course in the warmest and woolliest red shawl but the wind continued to whistle in my ears. Wow I am all about smells and colours all of a sudden.

Dooriyan Bhi Hai Zaroori

Its Sunday morning and I am snuggled under my quilt with the heater at a comfortable distance perched on top of a new polka dotted pink stool I picked up the other day at a flea market. Not that pink polka dots go with the décor of my room that I tried keeping to an earthy orange and bright yellow but it sure goes with me and my love for most things pink.  I saw Bride Wars and The Ugly Truth back to back last evening. Wow that definitely elucidates my social life on a Saturday night. Sigh! Sometimes like for an hour last evening I was actually feeling a little low thinking why, why do I have to do the “sitting at home alone and watching tv” routine every once in a while on Saturday nights these days but the other option being hanging out with people one doesn’t like to rub shoulders with more than once in 2 weeks. I much prefer my own company. Thank you.

I had a fabulous fabulous Saturday evening two weeks back with Fino, her sister Bratty and the B. Fino and I met up after a year and a half and it happened to be her birthday too. We couldn’t stop talking all afternoon and later at night we were at the B’s place for drinks and a scrumptious Bengali dinner. The drinks were flowing and so was the conversation. I must say his daughter is an adorable little thing and to think her Daddy is B. We have come a long way indeed from our being perennially stoned days in college. I wonder how many rounds of shots we had at TC that night, the drive back home being a complete blur. Of course I do recollect hazily the drunk dials made and Red Head trying to console me. (Damn I miss my friends. Like old old friends.) However what I do remember very clearly is getting up next morning at 6 and trying to wake Fino up.  What followed was a whirlwind as we realized the cab guy had come at 4:45 and tried calling me up for half an hour and I continued was to cancel the call in my alcohol induced sleep. I don’t know how they managed reaching the airport and catching the flight on time but they did. Fino left her phone behind in the mad scurry and I had to courier it to her.   Fino and I couldn’t stop laughing about how Bratty blamed B for having gotten us so drunk that they almost missed their flight. Thank god for small mercies like living close to the airport.

Work has been pretty decent all thanks to a couple of new people I have said hullo hi to in office or rather old people who I have gotten to know. However the urge to get out is stronger every day. Met up with M and Gandalf at the DGC day before. Was naice catching up with them over wine and I stuffed myself with these delicious mushrooms not to forget my eternal favourite fish fingers with lots of mayonnaise.  Gandalf’s jokes just get more and more funny dirty everytime. He is incorrigible. Now I can even predict a joke coming up and he can look through my “lost little girl not knowing what is happening around her” act. Damn it! Hehehe! It is supposed to work more than that.

I saw Harry Potter last Saturday and loved it. I got someone an unexpected a gift the other day and yeah unexpected it actually was. Isn’t it nice when someone gets you an surprise gift? I can’t remember the last time I got one. Even flowers would do actually. Sigh! Sigh! Oh and I have been off Facebook for almost 2 weeks now. What a relief? Or maybe its just a phase. It was just too much frivolous information to process and right now I need to process other stuff in my head.

“When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.”

Oprah Winfrey

Slut

I found this on urbandictionary.com. I couldn't stop laughing.

Slut:
a woman with the morals of a man. Hahahahahahahahah!

Wow Julian Assange's life right now will put a  James Bond flick to shame. The Interpol has just issued an arrest warrant against him and he is wanted by the majority of the European Governments not to forget the red faced United States government and his home country Australia  for having released top secret, highly confidential information to the world at large. Hahahaha! I wonder how many more secrets is Wikileaks gonna expose. Remember our very own Tarun Tejpal from Tehelka. Though this is on a much grander scale. Guess whose gonna have the last laugh ?

Issie Blow

I hadn’t ever heard of Isabella Blow until I chanced upon her name being mentioned in the same breath as Coco Chanel’s in a blog. Now who hasn’t heard of Coco Chanel but I was equally intrigued with Isabella Blow’s life after doing a google search on her. She was the one who discovered the late designer Alexander Mcqueen and the famous super model Sophie Dahl. Issie as she was affectionately known as, bought Alexander Mcqueen’s entire graduation collection in 1992 for 3000 pounds which she paid off in installments of 100 pounds a week. She worked tirelessly promoting his work in the fashion circuit only to be left behind by him when he shifted to Paris to work for Gucci. She was known for her quirky sense of style especially the élan with which she carried off unusual hats. However towards the end of her life she suffered from severe depression and tried to kill herself numerous times until she finally succeeded doing so by injecting herself with weed killer.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to speak the truth and pray that the other person understands.The easiest thing in the world would have been to go about it the round about way. I did not do that. I suck at playing games and putting up appearances where people who are close to me are concerned. I might come across as the kinds who cannot be rude or cannot say a no on the face but if something does not feel right I know how and when to get my message across. Even if this is the oh so wrong time but I did what I thought was right and what I think is fair.

Finally...

Three years after I did not get down to taking part in the then Hutch Delhi Half Marathon 2007 I finally ran in the Airtel Delhi Half Marathon 2010.Yeayyyyy!

Dear P

I got this in my mail box today first thing in the morning. :-) It is so amazing when such unlikely people believe in you.

P,

Sending you the recommendations that I filled up for RC, this is so that you have a goal and dream that it can be done.
Remember every task has pitfalls and requires a challenge which one has to own self. Hard work, single minded focus, resoluteness, investment of time and emotions, dispassionate hard work, etc are required. Most of the people fail because they think the path to achievement is drudgery, people only succeed when they start enjoying the journey of going through the effort as motions of life and suddenly they find that success is at their doorstep.
Do your resolute best without attachments and results shall follow in one way or the other, Lord Krishna’s sermon in Gita is what needs to be followed – at least in my case I have reached wherever I am with with this solitary philosophy.
Aim for the stars and put in your best, you’ll realize that success, happiness and satisfaction are waiting to be your best companions in life.

Best Wishes
SS

I'll rise

And you cannot put me down. No you can’t and you won’t be able to keep me down. I’ll never lose my sunshine. I’ll rise again and again and again.

Of sea and memories.

I am not going for that holiday I was supposed to go for today. It struck me last morning as I lay in bed and the alarm rang itself to a frenzy that my Manager will surely have a fit approving this holiday and that technically I have taken a holiday every month since June even if the first two were only for 3 days. I mean 3 working days. Hehehe! So no to Himachal and I am feeling a lil miserable. I mean I was so looking forward to my sojourn to the hills. I haven’t been to the hills since errrmmmmmmm 2005 and that was Kodaikanal. I realize I am a sea person. I love the sea. I think having lived in a hill station ( see Gangtok) as a child for two whole years some of the charm associated with hills and mountains has shorn off. I am the happiest child near water. Not that I am any water baby but I much prefer the spray of waves on my face and the salty after taste and the expanse of the wide wide ocean that stretches into eternity. Have you noticed how the sea looks different everywhere? In Chennai it can be this inkish blue in hot summer afternoons, in Pondicherry it was a sky blue that March evening, in Bombay it was grey and dark one morning in July as it rained incessantly, in Orissa that long ago summer day it was an azure blue, in Goa it was a delightful greyish greenish this August and in Pattaya it looked emerald green.

Everytime I think of Gopalpur on sea and Orissa I think of Dad. Guess I shall always associate those holidays with Dad and our long road trip that summer. All I can remember are endless roads, the pristine white deserted beaches, the prawn curry we had in that roadside dhaba and Baba in his customary black shorts, starched white t shirt and his cap. We were travelling in a white non ac ambassador off the coast of Orissa and it was the height of summers and strangely I don’t remember feeling uncomfortably hot. I was a little short of my 15th birthday. Little did I know Baba won’t be around 11 years later. I think sometimes we have a tendency to keep going back to our old memories. Guess it is human to do so. Everything associated with Dad has this novelty now. I am human after all. I am gonna miss him for the rest of my life.

Why do I have to sound oh so sentimental all of a sudden? Sigh! I was speaking to two old friends last night. One was the Economist and the other was Hazel Eyes whom I haven’t kept in touch with regularly after I left Bangalore. I was so happy when I heard Hazel Eyes got the job he did though he said he is being made to work like a dog but I believe Consultants have to work like a dog in their first project. So last night after keeping the phone I was reminiscing old times, Bangalore times, old Delhi times. Darn it has been so long but some days I still wanna go back to Bangalore and live that life fully and not leave everything half the way like I did. I hate these chapters that don’t have a proper ending. Or maybe that was the only ending that was supposed to be.

That was yesterday. This is all I have today and this is what I have to make do with. Good Byeeee people. Happy Diwali to all of you. :D